


Straight Boy

by heartsdesire456



Series: Straight Boys (the series) [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Adult Content, First Time, Humor, M/M, Minor Violence, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 23:02:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/313130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally meant to be a short Tommy/Sutan comedy oneshot, this fic has now become an actual fic. <br/><i>Sutan has a crush on his straight friend. In the middle of a dramatic and shocking twist involving the friends, will Tommy's straight become bendy or will Sutan's wishes remain only fantasy?</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Straight Boy

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series that I just finished the 3rd installment of, so I'm posting the first two even though I said I wouldn't transfer old fics. Parts 2 and 3 to come soon!

Adam couldn’t deny his friend looked sexy made up to look like he’d been beat to hell and back, it was a rugged kind of ‘I got the shit beat out of me, but you should see the other guy’ way. However, he couldn’t really focus on how hot Tommy looked when he was too busy fighting full on giggle fits as he listened to the two on either side of him make dramatic sounds and lewd comments.

“Oh yeah, just like that, TommyJoe, right there, baby-“

“Nnnnnngh!”

It was the last desperation filled noise that broke Adam’s resolve and made him burst into laughter, pressing his face into the covers as he kicked his feet. “You guys!” he choked out, looking either direction.

Cheeks rolled his eyes. “Bitch please, like you wouldn’t have been doing the same thing a year ago,” he accused pointedly. He nodded past Adam. “And he’s too busy trying to remind his body that he only looks like a gangly teenaged boy,” he said, and Sutan lifted his head from the covers to glare over Adam’s head at the smaller boy. “Well it’s true!” he said.

Adam rolled his eyes and gave Sutan a pointed look. “Seriously, you’re not fifteen, control yourself,” he said, and Sutan just sighed, turning back to the paused shot of Tommy with his head back and his mouth slightly open.

“Adam, I want your straight boy,” he whined, pouting as he let his face fall to the bedspread.

Adam shook his head in amusement. “ _I_ don’t have a straight boy, I only have one boy and he’s gay,” he pointed out.

Cheeks snorted. “Admit it, Adam, at the beginning you had as big of a crush on him as the rest of us do,” he said, and Adam laughed.

“Oh yeah, definitely, but the more I got to know him the more it was like ‘holy shit besties!’ and less ‘hot boy to drool over’,” he said, shrugging. “And really, the making out with him all the time would’ve been really awkward if I had a crush on him,” he said, and Cheeks smirked.

“Not for me it isn’t,” he said, and Sutan’s head popped up, eyes narrowed.

“HEY! When the fuck did _you_ make out with Tommy?” he demanded and Adam sat up.

“Alright, I’m not getting in the middle of this catfight,” he said, closing the laptop despite their whines. “Seriously, he’s just a boy! A pretty one, sure, but there are plenty of pretty boys who are actually into dick,” he pointed out.

Brad sighed. “I know, but it’s still fun to imagine,” he said, smirking delightedly as he rolled onto his back.

Sutan glared. “Hey! Stop picturing Tommy naked!” he demanded, poking him in the ribs.

Cheeks shoved his hand off. “Well at least I only plan to look, not touch. You’re the one that’s all in love with a straight boy,” he accused, poking his tongue out petulantly. “Besides, you filmed a video of making out with him, so it’s not fair to accuse me of something you have proof you did,” he said.

Adam rolled his eyes. “Sutan feels that he has the right to make out with Tommy, because he’s ‘his’ TommyJoe,” he said, and Sutan sighed.

“At our wedding one day, he’s going to wear a leather jacket and black jeans and boots with buckles, and I’m gonna wear a leopard print mini dress, and we’re gonna adopt puppies together,” he said in a dreamy voice.

Cheeks sat up, gaping. “Wow, I was kidding! You’re actually into him in more than a ‘break me off a piece of that’ way?” he asked in shock.

Sutan blushed. “No, I’m just-“ he sighed. “It’s more complicated.”

“And, Tommy’s straight,” Adam added with a sad smile. “Sorry baby, I tried at the start, it didn’t work.”

Cheeks snorted. “Hell yeah he’s straight! I tried to get him to take me home one of the first times we hung out, during a slight slutty phase, and he said no!” he said, and Adam rolled his eyes.

“You’re a man, Cheeks. Pretty or not, you’re not gonna land a straight boy!” he said, receiving a pointed look from Cheeks.

“Have you seen this face?” he asked, then gestured to his face in general. “Tommy turned down all of this, you see allll of this?!”

Sutan smirked. “I have seen all of that, I’ve noticed I’ve been seeing a lot _more_ of ‘all of this’ recently, have you noticed it, Adam?” he said facetiously. “It’s almost as if his face is getting higher,” Sutan said with a bitchy little smirk. “Oh wait, that’s not your face getting higher!”

Cheeks just took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “That was uncalled for,” he said, crossing his arms pointedly. Sutan chuckled and he grumbled. “Adam, make him stop!” he whined, kicking at Sutan halfheartedly.

“Aww, I’m sorry but really, a lot of guys look good even after they start balding-“

“I AM NOT BALDING!” he cried dramatically. “It’s just a little bit thinner!” he cried and Sutan snorted.

“If that’s ‘thinner’ you’ve got the Mary-Kate Olsen of hair follicles-“

“RUDE!” Cheeks said, then smirked and rolled his eyes. “But clever, I’ve gotta say,” he said, and Sutan grinned triumphantly. “Shit, we’re getting old,” he said, flopping back across the bed with a heavy sigh.

Sutan groaned. “I’m already old,” he said dramatically.

Adam laughed. “Aww, it’s okay Tranma, we still love you even if you wear depends-“

“Fuck you, you’re not exactly twenty-five anymore either, bitch,” Sutan said, kicking him in the leg.

“Well, to be fair, he’s looked this old since he was twenty-five,” Brad said, and Sutan giggled at Adam’s offended gasp.

“I’m not sure if I should be happy I haven’t aged much or pissed you claim I looked old at twenty-five,” he said with a grumble. “Whatever, _I_ won’t hit thirty alone, ha!” he said, grinning. “Just squeaked by on my ‘don’t reach thirty alone’ pact,” he said brightly.

“I’ll tell you what you can do with that pact,” Sutan grumbled. “I’m gearing for forty. If I’m still alone at forty, I’m going to kill myself,” he announced and Cheeks let out a short laugh.

“Me and you both, sister,” he sighed. “Seriously, I’m actually _successful_ and everything,” he said. “You! You’re nearly as famous as this dumb fuck,” he said, gesturing to Adam absently. “Why are there no gorgeous middle aged brain surgeons falling madly in love with us?!” he asked. “And we’re pretty! Pretty and successful!”

Sutan shrugged. “Could be that I’m easy,” he suggested, and Cheeks grumbled.

“Could be that I’m not,” he countered. He hummed. “Maybe I _should_ try straight boys,” he pondered.

“Been there, tried that, nearly got my ass kicked,” Sutan said, and Cheeks snickered.

“Yeah, but that was before the earth’s crust cooled,” he said, then smirked. “I bet I can seduce Tommy,” he said and Sutan sat up, glaring.

“You better not,” he said in a dark tone. “If I can’t have him, you sure as hell can’t,” he said, and Cheeks sat up, smirking.

“First to seduce Tommy wins?”

Adam waved a hand between them. “You guys!” he said, shooting them looks. “That’s just fucked up,” he pointed out. “He’s your _friend_! Sutan, you couldn’t seduce him without fucking up your own heart.” He turned to Brad. “Cheeks, you’re not one for casual fucks anymore, so you’d feel guilty as hell,” he added.

Sutan snorted. “No, you wouldn’t get a chance to feel guilty, they’d find you in a gutter with a stiletto heel shoved down your throat,” he threatened.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Sutan watched Tommy strutting across the stage, tossing his hair as he played grinning at the singer of his band. He sighed heavily and propped his chin in his hands. “I want so hard,” he whined and Cheeks rolled his eyes from his seat next to him.

“I just don’t know what the hell you see in him,” he said, shaking his head. They had made themselves as discreet and unnoticeable as possible in the back corner of the club where Tommy’s band was playing, having promised to come see a show sometime. Sutan shot Cheeks a flat look and he rolled his eyes. “Seriously, besides the obvious hot as hell stuff, he’s such a dude,” he pressed and Sutan frowned.

“Yes, he is. And unless something major has happened that I missed, we like dudes,” he said and Cheeks waved a hand.

“No, he’s a _dude_ , you know, like how the jock boys who tried to kick my ass every day in high school were ‘bros’,” he explained. “Tommy is a cheap beer drinking, Xbox playing, belching, ball scratching, _dude_.” He gestured to Sutan and then himself. “We like men,” he said plainly. “Wine sipping, art loving, well dressed, nice mannered _men_ ,” he stressed.

Sutan sighed. “But… he’s funny and pretty and the sweetest boy ever,” he said with a hopelessly longing gaze at his friend on stage.

Cheeks sighed. “He’s a weird little goth boy. He’s sexy and sweet and funny, but he’s a harsh, black loving, vampire-addicted, metal head-“

Sutan clutched his shirt dramatically. “ _I_ was a weird goth kid too at one time, Cheeks! I _get_ it,” he said, sighing. “God I’m too old for this kind of crush,” he said, pouting.

Brad nodded, sipping his drink. “Exactly. You need to find you some rich, handsome forty year old investment banker with a Benz and a yacht and settle down and live out the rest of your life being worshipped by him,” he said with a dramatic sigh of longing. “Oh to be pampered by my very own Richard Gere!” he gushed, then paused, making a face. “Without the whole ‘destitute hooker’ part,” he added as an afterthought.

Sutan sighed and let his head drop to the table with a bang. “I’m a thirty-seven year old with limited miles left on model before the warranty runs out with a crush on a thirty year old rock star. Kill me,” he whined dramatically.

“As a twenty-six year old with very limited hairs left on this head, you can’t ask me to end YOUR misery,” he said, and Sutan chuckled.

“Good point, I look younger than you and-“

Cheeks gave him a death glare. “One more word and you won’t _need_ to tuck, Girlie,” he threatened, making Sutan grin evilly. They turned back to the stage as Tommy caught Sutan’s eye again. This time he was playing his solo, back against the singer’s, head tossed back, mouth slack, and eyes shut. Sutan sighed dreamily and Cheeks hummed, tilting his head. “You know, I bet that’s what his sex face looks like,” he said, and Sutan whined, covering his eyes.

“Don’t tell me _that_! I have to go talk to him when they’re done, do you _want_ me to be picturing what he looks like during sex while I’m trying to talk to one of my best friends?” he asked, glaring.

Brad suddenly gaped then burst out giggling. “Oh my God! I just imagined you two having sex! HA!” he cried, doubling over. “Oh my God, Oh he’s so small and you’re so _not_!”

Sutan huffed. “Don’t picture me having sex!” he complained, then sighed. “Besides, he’s small? You seen yourself lately?” he asked.

Cheeks smirked. “I’m a pretty little gay boy though! Tommy’s supposed to be a straight man, not the same size as a cute little effeminate boy,” he said, fluttering his eyelashes. “He’s almost as pretty as I am!”

Sutan nodded. “Yeah, manly isn’t his forte,” he agreed. “Although he isn’t effeminate like you. It’s weird. He’s small and pretty, but in a tomboy way,” he said.

Brad hummed. “So, if you were to sleep with him- work with me for a minute,” he said, waving a hand when Sutan started to argue. “If you were to sleep with him, do you think he’d top?” he asked with a filthy little smirk.

Sutan groaned, covering his face. “I don’t know, maybe? Why does it matter-“

“Because sweetie, to be a gorgeous drag queen, you can be pretty boyish and toppy,” he said pointedly. “I’ve seen you turn into a full on _man_ before.”

Sutan shrugged. “Well he’s straight, so I don’t see him being down for bottoming. Besides, it’s not like it’s ever gonna happen-“

“So, it’s fun to imagine,” Cheeks said, snickering. “If he topped it would look really funny. He’s half your height and nearly as skinny.” He paused. “I’ve never seen him naked. How’s his cock-“

“BRADLEY!” Sutan snapped in a chastising tone, eyes panicky.

Cheeks pouted dramatically. “I cannot believe you used my full name like that, God,” he whined. “And what? You’ve seen him naked, right? I thought you put him in a dress one time-“

“He kept on his underwear!” Sutan said, then snorted. “I don’t think anybody’s seen his dick. I _toured_ with them and I don’t think all of us even saw him topless. He’s really self-conscious for some reason. He was more relaxed on vacation, but totally not on tour,” he said.

Cheeks sighed. “I bet his dick is small. He’s a little guy,” he said, and Sutan shot him a pointed look. Cheeks rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean, he isn’t a big guy, I doubt he has a big dick! Proportionate to his body, sure, but I mean BIG big, not like… average,” he said, groaning. “Fine, whatever, fuck off,” he said, and Sutan grinned.

“Alright, Tiny-“

“YOU HAVE SEEN MY DICK BEFORE!” he cried embarrassedly, only to freeze and squeak, hands coming to cover his mouth when he realized that, just as he’d spoken loudly, the music had stopped and everybody within fifteen feet was turning to look at them.

Sutan just burst into laughter so uncontrollable he almost slid out of his chair.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
After the show, Sutan tugged Brad with him until they got backstage. They spotted Tommy loading up some stuff. “TommyJoe, you hot little slut, get over here!” Sutan called and Tommy stood up, smiling when he spotted them.

“LIFE PARTNER!” he cried dramatically, running over to rush into a hug, arms tight around Sutan’s waist. “I thought I saw a baby giraffe out there in the back,” he said, and Sutan rolled his eyes, curling an arm around the shorter man’s shoulders happily. “Yo, Isaac! Look who’s here!” he called and Isaac looked up, then waved.

“Yo!” he called back and Cheeks mimed gagging.

“Ew, what is it with the sweaty, icky males and their ‘yo’s?” he asked, and Tommy finally realized he was hiding behind Sutan.

“Oh I _thought_ I heard your voice shouting about dicks!” he said, breaking away from Sutan to hug him too. “Should’ve known I wasn’t imagining,” he said with a smile. “Haven’t seen you in ages, dude,” he said with a smile.

Cheeks smiled. “Oh you know me, embarrassing myself is second nature,” he said, shrugging.

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Bullshit, you don’t get embarrassed,” he said, grabbing Sutan’s hand. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to my friends,” he said, tugging Sutan, who in turn grabbed Cheeks by the shirt and tugged him along. “Hey, Ravi, come meet my friends,” he demanded, and a guy with curly hair looked up.

“Oh hey, the hot chick from that music video, right?” he asked, and Tommy nodded.

Sutan laughed. “Yeah, only boy-style tonight,” he said, gesturing to his boy clothes and the fact he hadn’t shaved in two days.

Tommy smirked at Cheeks, who was making a horrified face at the fat man, one of the venue staff guys, walking past with his belly hanging out of his shirt. “And this balding bitch is Cheeks,” he said as introduction.

Cheeks gaped. “Excuse you, I’m going to shave all your hair off in your sleep one day,” he said pointedly.

“Last I know, you have no idea where I live,” Tommy said, then poked out his tongue immaturely.

Ravi looked between them and tilted his head to the side. “Anybody ever tell you that you guys sorta look alike-“

“Oh yeah,” Tommy said, and Cheeks snorted.

“Only he isn’t as pretty,” he said with an overly sweet smile.

Ravi chuckled. “You guys cousins or something?” he asked, and Cheeks made a horrified face.

“God I hope not, I’m pretty sure we’ve made out before,” he said, and Tommy nodded.

“At least kissed some, although it’s kind of fuzzy,” he agreed. He looked up and grinned. “Parties with drag queens involve lots of alcohol.”

Sutan nodded. “I never did find my panties,” he said, and Cheeks blinked.

“Wait, were the leopard spots?” he asked, and Sutan raised an eyebrow. “I think I saw them floating in a fountain two blocks away on the walk home the next morning,” he offered, and Tommy and Sutan exchanged looks, then burst into giggles, clutching each other as they doubled over laughing.

Cheeks rolled his eyes. “Alright, are we going out now or what?” he asked Sutan, who looked at Tommy.

“What do you say, TommyJoe? Wanna come dancing with us?” he asked with a hopeful look.

Tommy smiled. “Alright,” he said, then glanced at his band mates. “Yo! I’m leaving with my woman and my incestuous cousin, peace out!” he called, then paused. “Isaac, grab my shit and take it to your place,” he said, then turned back to Sutan, tightening the arm around his waist. “Lead the way, lady,” he said, and Sutan rolled his eyes.

“Boy, I’ve got a beard going on, don’t even joke like that,” he said, though he stroked his fingers through Tommy’s hair playfully before turning to find Cheeks and head out anyways.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tommy sipped his whiskey and hummed. “So let me get this straight… Richard Gere?!” he asked and Sutan laughed, nodding while Cheeks pouted at them dramatically. “You realize he picked up a hooker, right? She was a _hooker_ ,” he stressed.

Sutan smirked. “And just how do you know the plot of Pretty Woman?” he asked, and Tommy snorted.

“Girlfriends love making you watch sappy movies with them… although rescuing a hooker from the streets isn’t really sappy, it’s a good investment,” he pointed out. “You’re getting a woman who knows more about sex than you probably ever will in your life, and who is willing to sleep with _only_ you now. Come on,” he said, grinning.

Sutan chuckled. “Besides, honey,” he said to Brad. “How the hell are you gonna pick up a sugar daddy Pretty Woman style when you don’t put out on the first date?” he challenged.

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “You don’t put out on the first date anymore? That’s lame,” he said, making a face.

Cheeks rolled his eyes. “I’m not a _dude_ like you,” he pointed out. “And Sutan, you’re just a slut,” he said, with a smile. “I remember how fun it was,” he said, sighing. “I don’t know, I’m just not into it anymore. I’m worth more than a few drinks and cab fare,” he said with a shrug. “Plus, if I keep that up, I’ll reach thirty alone and I am _not_ going to be single by thirty.” He turned to Tommy. “Sutan and I have decided that we’re going to kill ourselves before we end up middle aged and single. We’ve even discussed methods of suicide!” he said with a bright smile and enthusiastic nod.

Sutan nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to dress up all pretty and take a swan dive off of a building, and Cheeks is going to make his an accident,” he said, and Tommy frowned in confusion.

“How the fuck do you accidentally commit suicide?” he asked.

“Oh it’s easy!” Cheeks said. “I’m going to play bungee jumping Russian roulette! I pay somebody to cut the rope on one of three hanging from whatever bridge I jump from but not tell me which. If I don’t die the first time, I’ll just plan for another day until eventually I die,” he said with a bright, enthusiastic smile. “A very creative suicide is key in ending your own life.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “You two better fucking not kill yourselves ever,” he said, then shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like you two couldn’t land any dude you wanted! You’re funny, nice, and attractive men,” he reassured.

Sutan sighed. “So?! You’re our straight friend, not the average guy. Do you have any idea how extreme the ratio gap between ‘guys who like to fuck around’ and ‘sincere, devoted, loving husband-material’ is in the gay community?!” he asked.

Cheeks nodded. “Hell yeah, women complain it’s hard to find a decent man for them when we live in a society that encourages gay men to shun commitment to one person,” he lectured. “It’s very hard to meet a man who isn’t lying when he tells you he’s into a relationship, then sleeps with you, then starts asking you to have threesomes with his friends,” he stressed, then nodded to Sutan. “He usually goes with it, but we’ve both decided no more flirting and fucking around. We want men for good.”

Sutan sighed. “I have three years and then it’s pretty much over for me. At forty, you _are_ the sugar daddy,” he stressed.

Cheeks smirked. “Sweetie, you’re already too old to get a sugar daddy, I’ve still got hope.” He grinned. “Imagine it Tommy! Some gorgeous older man with enough age and experience to be the best lover I’ll ever have and a big enough bank account to give me everything I want in exchange for being pretty,” he sighed happily.

Tommy hummed, tapping the rim of his glass. “I can see the advantages. I should find myself a hot cougar who will keep me in tacos in exchange for being pretty and giving her a constant supply of sex,” he said with a smirk. “Good idea!”

Sutan snorted. “I don’t want a sugar daddy as much as I just want to meet a nice, loving man who at least has the intention to spend the rest of our lives together,” he said, shrugging.

Tommy grinned. “You can be my sugar mama, dude,” he joked, slinging an arm around him. “May not be exactly what you want, but I’m a pretty sweet dude, and I love you to death, and we’re already life partners,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Cheeks smirked evilly. “Oh he wishes,” he said dramatically and Sutan gave him a panicked glare over Tommy’s head as he hugged his friend. He mimed strangling Cheeks from above Tommy’s head, so he didn’t see, and Cheeks just grinned. “Oh, what was that? You want to go dancing now? Alright!” he said, hopping off his stool. “TOMMY! Come dance with me,” he said, grabbing Tommy’s hand, tugging enthusiastically.

Tommy wormed away from Sutan and laughed. “Only because you bought me a drink, hot stuff,” he said, letting Cheeks drag him off to the dance floor. Sutan just glared at Cheeks, who blew him a mocking kiss over Tommy’s shoulder.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
On the way home, Cheeks was the first one dropped off. Sutan didn’t live too far away, so Tommy agreed to walk him home rather than spend even more money on the cab fare. “TommyJoe,” Sutan sighed drunkenly, curling his arm around Tommy’s shoulders. “Why aren’t you gay?” he asked, pouting down at him.

Tommy laughed. “I don’t know, why aren’t you straight?” he asked, and Sutan mimed gagging.

“Because girls are dumb, boys are prettier,” he said, twirling his finger in the hair behind Tommy’s ear. “You should be gay so we could get married,” he announced and Tommy laughed at his friend’s drunken rambling. “We could get married and I’d be Mrs. Tommy Ratliff and we’d have like- like puppies and shit,” he said, slumping more of his weight onto the arm around Tommy’s shoulders. “Cuz you’re pretty and nice and I’m going to die alone and it’ll suck but you’re awesome and you’ll get married and have babies and shit and that’s cool, why ain’t I cool?” he asked, and Tommy laughed, fighting to hold him up.

“Dude, you’re so _wasted_ ,” he recognized, even though he was sort of tipsy himself.

Sutan hummed. “I think Brad is secretly straight,” he said in a conspiratorial tone. “He’s got a _beard_ ,” he hissed, and Tommy barked out a laugh.

“No, Sutan, Brad is NOT straight. He is the farthest from straight. You are straighter than him, babydoll,” he said, and Sutan hummed.

“Babydoll, I like it,” he said, then groaned when they got to his steps. “No, too far,” he whined. “Tote me.”

Tommy shot him a pointed look. “Oh yeah, cause I’m eight feet tall and manly,” he said and Sutan sighed.

“Scrawny and short boys aren’t fun,” he said, then started up the stairs on all fours. “I hate steps. I hate them. They are evil. They’re like movement Nazis,” he said, and Tommy just laughed, following him up to his door.

“Alright, go in and get some water, okay?” he said, and Sutan stood up and fished his key out of his pocket, unlocking the door after four unsuccessful attempts. After it opened he sighed.

“TommyJoe, you’re the best,” he said, then leaned down and kissed Tommy right on the mouth. “Best straight boy date ever,” he teased, poking Tommy’s nose drunkenly before stumbling inside and kicking the door shut on his way to the floor.

Tommy waited and knocked. “You okay?” he asked, and Sutan groaned.

“I’m peachy, going to sleep here, goodnight!” he called through the door and Tommy snickered but replied the same before heading back down to the street to go home himself.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Sutan was still trying to get over his hangover when his phone rang. He fumbled for it and answered without looking. “I hate you, I hate you very much.”

“I love you too, Life Partner,” Tommy said in a playful tone and Sutan groaned.

“What do you want?” he asked, and Tommy chuckled.

“Neil and Cheeks are up to another one of their political things tonight, I want to crash their party. Adam’s busy and Isaac is going out to dinner with his wife and nobody else is free. Wanna come?” he asked.

Sutan chuckled. “Great, I was your last choice? I’m honored.”

“Aww, don’t be like that baby, you know I love you more, I just figured you’re hung over,” Tommy teased and Sutan sighed.

“Alright, I’m not dressing up though, so there better not be any cameras. I wouldn’t know, but generally live streams involve cameras,” he said with a grumble.

“Nah, I don’t think it does this time. Last time it was just audio,” Tommy said, and Sutan frowned.

“You _watched_ Neil’s political shit?” he asked. “God, I’d rather shoot myself. Neil’s so boring and smart and political. I have no idea how Brad puts up with it. He’s like… smart when he’s around Neil,” he said, then shuddered dramatically as he went to find clothes.

Tommy laughed. “Brad is obnoxiously smart. It makes me feel stupid when he breaks out the big words and shit. I mean, I’m not _dumb_ but that guy is way more eloquent than the average person and I’m a simple guy, you know?”

Sutan laughed. “I’m probably as smart as Brad, I just don’t have a mind for politics and business and shit like that. He and Neil are so alike it’s scary sometimes. Sarcastic little bitches with sneaky sides and a mind for complicated things. Seriously, Cheeks and Neil could probably work together to rid the world of debt, war, and republicans,” Sutan said, and Tommy burst out giggling.

“Alright, so let’s go get them drunk and take over their little radio show type thing. We can pick on whatever they’re doing and talk about which would be the ugliest woman in the room on the screen,” Tommy offered and Sutan grinned.

“Sounds great.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
When Tommy and Sutan knocked, booze in hand, they heard a ‘I’ll get it, you just fix that connection’ and then Cheeks opened the door, only to have his face drop when he spotted them. “What are you doing here?” he asked, and Tommy and Sutan both held up their packages.

“Crashing your party with the offer of beer?” Sutan suggested and Brad groaned.

“You two aren’t welcome, so how about-HEY!” he cried in contempt as Tommy and Sutan pushed past him. “RUDE!”

When they walked into the living room, Neil had his laptop, two microphones, and a sound board set up in front of the couch on the coffee table. “Who was it?” he asked, then glanced up only to double take. “Oh no, no, no no no! Brad, why did you let them in?!”

Brad shoved past, arms crossed. “They’re bigger than me,” he said with a dramatic pout as he flopped down beside Neil.

Neil glared. “I don’t have time to kick you out, we have to go live like… two minutes ago, so shut up, don’t speak, and sit there still until I say you can talk.”

Cheeks smirked. “Besides, there’s only two microphones so anything you say to try and be jerks won’t be heard, ha!” he said, poking out his tongue.

Tommy nodded, grinning. “That’s fine, we’ll be in the kitchen,” he said, nodding at Sutan to get up. “Drinking and redecorating everything,” he said, smirking evilly at Neil, whose head popped up, eyes wide.

“Don’t you dare-“

“NEIL! Turn it on!” Brad insisted, shoving him towards the board. “The debate is starting in one minute!”

Tommy and Sutan just snorted and headed to the kitchen, putting the beer in the refrigerator before beginning to raid the cabinets for food. “Oooh, gummy bears,” Tommy said, grabbing a big bag.

Sutan grinned. “Share!” he said, grabbing for the bag. They did away with the gummy bears and moved on to several other food items, including Neil’s ice cream and cookies. After a while, Tommy hummed and Sutan looked up curiously as Tommy eyed the top cabinet over the refrigerator. “What?” he asked.

Tommy bit his lip. “I bet he has something cool up there,” he said, and Sutan nodded.

“Probably.” Tommy eyed him then the cabinet pointedly. “What?” he asked, and Tommy pouted.

“Don’t make me say it,” he whined and Sutan raised an eyebrow. Tommy sighed. “I’m too short,” he said, and Sutan grinned. “Shut up!” Tommy argued, pointing at him. “Just open the fucking cabinet and get whatever’s in there,” he grumbled, and Sutan laughed but did so.

He came back with a bag. “Looks like… coffee,” he said, handing to bag to Tommy. Tommy frowned.

“Kopi Luwak… what the fuck is that?” he asked and Sutan suddenly smiled evilly.

“I’ve heard of this stuff, it’s like… the most expensive coffee in the world,” he said, and Tommy smirked evilly.

“Let’s drink it,” he said, and Sutan nodded, rushing over to the coffee maker. Tommy opened the bag, then hummed.

“Wow, this stuff smells good,” he said, and Sutan nodded.

“Neil likes his coffee, alright,” he noted, then found a filter. “Let me have it,” he said, and Tommy stood aside as Sutan measured some of the coffee out. “Get the water,” he said, handing Tommy the coffee pot.

They sat patiently, snickering at their own evil-doing as they waited for the coffee to make. Once it was done, they both poured up all of it into giant coffee mugs, leaving half a bag of unbrewed coffee sitting on the counter as they took their mugs and left only a tiny little bit for Neil and Cheeks.

They walked out into the living room, only to stop in the doorway and raise eyebrows at each other before turning back to the sight that met them.

Neil was sitting with his arm along the back of the couch while Cheeks lounged, back against Neil’s side, head rested back on his upper arm as his head was turned to the screen on the coffee table, legs crossed across the rest of the couch. Neil snorted. “This guy’s an idiot.” They heard something about deficit reductions, followed by an eye roll from Neil.

Brad harrumphed primly. “Ha, I’d love to see you even _spell_ deficit, bitch,” he said to the screen, and Neil chuckled, nodding along, both of them oblivious to Tommy and Sutan’s presence. “Hmmm, I smell coffee,” he said, then turned to look around. “Oh hey, everybody, Neil’s and my friends made coffee!” he said, then made grabby hands at Tommy.

Neil raised an eyebrow. “What all destruction have you done in my kitchen in the _hour and a half_ you were in there?” he asked, hand over the microphones.

Tommy smirked. “You’re out of… well everything edible,” he said, and Sutan nodded, giggling. “And we’re drinking your coffee,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. “That expensive shit you had hidden.”

Neil glared. “You’re drinking my two hundred dollar Kopi Luwak?” he asked.

Cheeks suddenly smirked. “Is it good?” he asked, and Sutan moaned, nodding as he drank some.

“It’s amazing. Holy shit, two hundred bucks tastes _good_ ,” he moaned.

Cheeks giggled and tipped his head back to share an amused smirk with Neil. “TommyJoe, drink up if it’s good,” he said, and Tommy sipped some, sighing at the taste, only to raise an eyebrow.

“Why are you looking so smug?” he asked.

Neil grinned as Brad turned and muffled his laughter against Neil’s shirt. “Ever heard of civet coffee?” he asked, and Sutan’s eyes widened and he choked on the coffee, holding it out away from his face in horror.

Tommy shrugged. “No, what is it?” he asked, and Cheeks laughed harder. “What?” he asked and Sutan was busy staring in horror at his mug.

“It’s coffee made from wild cat shit,” Neil said, and Tommy’s eyes widened in disgust before spitting out the coffee in his mouth back into the mug.

“What the fuck, who does that?!” Tommy asked, disgusted. “Ew, I’ve drank almost all of it!” He looked at Sutan. “You did too!”

Neil smirked. “That’s what you get for raiding my cabinets, you jerk,” he said, then nodded back to the kitchen. “Now get in there and clean up and be quiet. I’m going to turn the mics back up and you two have to be quiet.”

Brad leaned over and pushed the volume back up. “Sorry guys, we had to shout at our friends over the coffee,” he said. “Alright, we’re up to immigration, this should be fun!” he said, and Neil chuckled.

“Let’s see who has the scariest plan for keeping out the Mexicans,” he said, and Brad grinned, winking over at Tommy and Sutan before turning back to his and Neil’s commentary, settling back against Neil’s side.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Guess what we did last night!” Cheeks announced as he and Sutan barged into Adam’s room, Sutan whistling when they found him looking for a shirt.

“What did you do?” Adam asked, tugging on a tee-shirt while the other two shoved past him and started rooting around in his closet. “Um, excuse you, this is my closet,” he said, and Sutan shrugged, stealing a hat while Cheeks turned around with a pair of sunglasses.

“Yeah, and we’re your gal pals,” he said, nudging past Sutan to see himself in the mirror. “Oh yeah, this is hot,” he said, and Sutan chuckled.

“Maybe you should wear them next time you go to _Neil’s_ ,” he said in a childishly teasing voice.

Cheeks shoved past. “Bitch, ew,” he said, leaving the closet to go hop onto Adam’s bed, jumping up and down delightedly. “No, we got to watch Tommy and Sutan’s faces when they discovered that they were drinking civet coffee!” Brad said with a delighted sigh. “It was amazaballs!”

“Stop jumping on my bed,” Adam complained, then shoved Sutan out of the closet, snatching the feather boa away from him as he went. “And ew, where did you guys get civet coffee?” he asked, and Sutan groaned, putting his face in his hands. He heard a squeak and looked up to see a pouting Brad leaping off the bed onto the floor.

“Mean!” Brad accused, pointing at Adam, who had shoved him. “And Neil had some in his kitchen, which Tommy and Sutan came over and raided while I was there last night,” he said, and Sutan smirked.

“Hey, if we knew it was a date, we wouldn’t have crashed-“

“IT WASN’T A DATE!” Brad argued, huffing indignantly.

Sutan laughed and flopped across the bed while Adam sat down at his desk. “You should’ve seen it, Adam, they were cuddling while they did their little political thingy. It was _adorable_! Tommy and I were eating all the food and we came out and they were just snuggling and commentating,” he said, and Brad grumbled.

“We were not ‘snuggling’, oh my God, Sutan-“

“Wait, wait, wait,” Adam said, waving a hand. “We’re talking about the same Neil, right? My brother? The little sarcastic shit?” he asked, looking at Sutan. “That dude barely hugs _mom_ , there’s no way!”

Sutan rolled his eyes. “Alright, let me demonstrate!” He grabbed a pillow and tucked it under his arm, like a person leaning against his side. “I’m Neil,” he said, then shifted and put the pillow on his other side and dramatically lounged back, snuggling his face into the pillow. “Now I’m Cheeks!” he said, and Adam laughed.

“They’re pillows then?” he asked, and Sutan grinned.

“Well Neil was being used as a pillow-slash-resting post but I totally think it was cute,” he said, looking over at Brad. “So, that’s why you tease me about my straight boy crush, you’ve got yourself a little straight boy trouble,” he teased, and Cheeks made puking noises.

“Neil is an asshole and he’s such a _man_ ,” he said, making a face. “We’re just friends.”

Adam snorted. “I hope so. Neil’s straight and weird and a geek,” he said, and Sutan snickered.

“Brad is surprisingly smart. He and Neil were discussing like… trade agreements and immigration reform and shit. It was confusing and Tommy and I mostly just kept trying to make dirty noises that their microphones could pick up,” Sutan explained.

Brad rolled his eyes. “Oh God, it’s shocking I have a brain? Seriously?” he asked, and Sutan chuckled.

“Well you’re too pretty to be smart,” he said, and Cheeks flipped him off.

Adam laughed. “True, pretty people aren’t usually that smart. Which explains why Neil was the smart kid between the two of us,” he said with an evil grin. “Holy shit, you’re into my brother, that’s the funniest thing ever,” Adam said, and Cheeks glared between the two of them.

“I am not into Neil! Besides, what happened to teasing Sutan about Tommy?! They were making sex noises together,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sutan rolled his eyes. “Adam, explain to him that Tommy makes sex noises with everybody,” he said, and Adam laughed.

“Yeah, he does. He likes being a little shit. He’ll walk up to Isaac and just start humping his leg and moaning just to make him laugh.” He made a face. “Little bitch used to try and fuck with me by making filthy noises and whispering dirty things to me in public to try and make me blush,” he added, and Sutan grinned.

“Oh yeah, you totally turned bright pink and had to go calm yourself down that one time while we were all watching that movie on the bus,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Adam groaned. “Oh God, I’m not exactly the least experienced person in the world and he was whispering shit I’d never even imagined in my ear!” he said, and Sutan doubled over. “Worst part, was most of it was about women,” he said, making a face.

“Oh don’t I know it! I swear, that dude must have the biggest porn collection ever. Either that or he’s seriously hiding how much action he gets,” he said. “God, if I didn’t have a massive crush on him, I’d be terrified of letting him whisper anything to me because I heard some kinky ass shit I NEVER wanted to hear about,” he stressed. “And we all know I’m far from inexperienced.”

Cheeks cringed. “Ew, vaginas,” he said, making a face. “Whatever, the point is, Sutan and Tommy were making sex noises together, HA!” he said, and Adam grinned.

“That is funny though. How the hell do you have such a giant crush on him but you don’t mind fake-sex sounds with him?” he asked Sutan, who just groaned.

“I’m not twenty-one! I’m able to not get turned on just by a few grunts and groans with a friend!”

Cheeks smirked. “That you have a ridiculous fifteen-year-old heart eyed crush on,” he said and Adam grinned, even if he didn’t tease Sutan as well. “Oh Tommy!” Cheeks moaned dramatically, throwing himself onto the bed, arching his back and flinging his arms around. “Take me! I’m better than your icky girls, my legs will go all the way around your waist and everything-“

“Oh my God, why would I even-“ Sutan just groaned and shoved a pillow at Cheeks. “Fuck you so hard.”

“No, you can’t, because I’m not Tommy-“

“DIE!” Sutan cried, leaping onto the bed, scrambling after Cheeks, who screamed and took off running.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Mom, you sure you don’t want help?” Adam asked once more, watching his mother clearing up after dinner.

“No, you just got home, you sit,” she said, taking the last empty plates. “Neil, get up and help me,” she demanded and Neil rolled his eyes, thumping Adam in the head when he walked past him.

“Seriously, you come home from a trip and suddenly you’re the favorite again-“ Neil’s rant was cut off by the sound of Adam’s front door banging open. “What the-“

“I SAID STOP YOU JERKS! It’s nice to knock! Just because you have the key doesn’t mean-“

“Adam isn’t home anyways, so what does it matter? Why knock when there’s- wait, why is there lights on?”

Adam groaned and put his face in the hand that was free, his left hand laced with Sauli’s on his lap. “I’m home, you assholes!” Adam called, and everybody chuckled as the clumps of several sets of feet came their way. The first one in was Sutan, who waved a finger.

“I told them to knock just in case,” he pointed out before Adam could argue.

Cheeks and Tommy stopped on either side of him, looking sheepish as they spotted Adam, his parents, his brother, and his boyfriend all in the room, clearly having just had dinner. “Wow, family night, sorry!” Tommy said quickly, giving Adam his best ‘I’m a sweet little boy, don’t hate me!’ face. “We were coming to look for my dragon necklace, I knew you had it last, so… we didn’t know you were back.”

Cheeks shrugged. “I’ll be honest, I was going to steal sunglasses,” he said, and Sutan and Tommy shot him annoyed looks. “What?! You know you were going after the feather boas, don’t even front, girl!” he said to Sutan, who narrowed his eyes darkly.

Neil came back to sit. “You gave _them_ keys to your house?!” he asked and Adam laughed.

“Tommy has them because we borrow enough of each other’s shit that half his jewelry is in my jewelry box and I’m gone often enough he needed a way to get it,” he said, and Neil rolled his eyes.

“Yes, but he hangs out with those two,” he said, and Sutan shot him a disbelieving look, crossing his arms.

“Bitch, you and Cheeks do smart people stuff together, you can’t even complain,” he said, and Adam groaned.

“Oh not this fight again-“

“What fight?” Leila asked, coming to stand behind Neil’s chair, so that she was still facing the three standing on the side where she had been sitting.

Tommy shifted subtly closer until she rolled her eyes and gave him a hug. “The one where Bradley over here is secretly smart and knows stuff about like… foreign trade agreements and shit. Who the fuck knows that stuff other than Neil and history teachers?” he asked.

Eber laughed. “Oh wait, you’re talking about the political live chats?” he asked, and Cheeks rolled his eyes.

“They crashed the last debate chat I did with Neil and did their best to fuck with us the whole time,” he supplied.

Adam laughed in amusement. “Apparently, they used their two hours of no supervision to eat all of Neil’s food and then make sex noises to try and get it picked up by the microphone.”

Leila rolled her eyes. “Aren’t you guys all grown men?” she pressed and Brad crossed his arms.

“They’re both over thirty and they’re still children,” he said in a dramatically somber tone. “Alright kids, let’s go steal Adam’s stuff-“ Adam cleared his throat pointedly and Cheeks smiled innocently. “I mean borrow back Tommy’s things and get out of their hair,” he said.

“Aww, I haven’t seen any of you in ages,” Leila said, going over to them. “Come sit for a while, we can leave them in here and we can talk,” she said, refusing to take no for an answer before grabbing handfuls of clothing and dragging them to the living room.

They had only been sitting and talking for a little while before Neil came out. “You know, I think Dad likes Sauli better than he does me,” he said, going to sit in the vacant spot beside Cheeks.

Leila chuckled. “Why do you think that?” she asked and Neil snorted.

“Because he said ‘I like you, I hope you end up sticking around, you’re funnier than Neil’ and then started with all the embarrassing shit I did as a kid,” he said, and Cheeks grinned.

“Awww, don’t feel bad, you’re just too much like Eber, you two together is always fun but I can imagine he gets bored having too much in common,” he said, and Neil laughed, stretching his arm out across the back of the couch behind Cheeks.

Tommy snickered. “It’s too true, man. You are your father’s clone. Adam looks like you two but he is just like my woman,” he said, sliding his arm around Leila’s waist with a playful wink, which made her laugh. “All bright and happy and shit. You two are only surpassed in sarcasm by your smart buddy here,” he said, nodding at Cheeks.

Cheeks smiled sinisterly. “You know what you can do with your sarcasm, TommyJoe?” he asked, only to be cut off as Adam ducked in, on his past.

“No blood on my carpet, guys! If you have to murder each other, do it somewhere else,” he said, then raised an eyebrow at Cheeks and Tommy giving each other playfully threatening looks. “Besides, what do you care? You’re going to kill yourself in a few years anyways, right?” he asked Cheeks, who rolled his eyes.

“Yeah but I’m gonna take the bleach blond bimbo right there with me when I go,” he said, pointing at Tommy teasingly.

Leila raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to kill yourself, huh?” she asked skeptically.

Brad nodded. “Sutan and I made a suicide pact! If he hits forty and is still alone, he’s going to kill himself. I’m going for thirty or maybe thirty five, not sure. Either way, I’ve got a very short time to find a rich man to be dazzled by my pretty face and charming wit and then decide to keep me and give me the life of expensive things and amazing, passionate sex for the rest of ever,” he said with a dramatic sigh. “Although, we’ve had this discussion with Adam,” he said, and Sutan nodded. “We’re both pretty, thin, and successful and yet nobody wants us now, so the best thing to do is leave a pretty, young corpse if we’re going to die alone anyways, you know?”

Neil shot him a look. “Seriously? You couldn’t hurt yourself if you tried,” he said, and Cheeks raised an eyebrow, looking up at him, head leaned back on his arm.

“Oh yeah? How about I practice on you?” he asked, giving him a bitchy look.

Neil snickered. “I’d love to see you try, Bradley-“

“Oh fuck off, stop using my full name!” he whined, and Neil laughed, lifting a hand to ruffle Cheeks’ hair just to annoy him.

“Oh come on, it isn’t like you’re actually going to reach thirty alone. You stopped sleeping around with every man you see like Sutan does-“ Sutan cleared his voice, glaring at Neil pointedly. “Now you just need to stop dating stupid pretty boys,” he said, then smiled down at him. “Besides, you know you’re beautiful,” he said, and Cheeks smiled begrudgingly.

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” he said, and Sutan flailed some, gesturing at them while wiggling his eyebrows at Adam. Adam just stared in wide eyed, smiling amusement. “Um, are you guys having seizures?” he asked and Leila and Tommy looked between Sutan and Adam’s faces curiously.

“Holy shit, Sutan wasn’t lying!” he said, and Brad suddenly turned bright red and glared daggers.

“I DO NOT!” he cried indignantly and Adam just did a little dance.

“Oh that’s the funniest shit ever- DAD!” he cried, turning to run.

“ADAM NO!” Cheeks screeched, then jumped up and sprinted out of the room in the direction Adam went. Everybody heard a loud cry, a crash, a thud, and a scream all in the span of about three seconds.

Neil just raised an eyebrow at Tommy, who gave him a positively gleeful look. “Congratulations, you’re an only child!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
When everybody was leaving, Adam told Sauli he’d be right back then grabbed Neil’s arm, holding him back until their parents had gone. When they did, he tugged Neil out onto the front stoop so they wouldn’t be overheard, as their parents had left in their respective vehicles and Sauli was inside. “Let’s talk,” he said, and Neil raised an eyebrow.

“I’m listening,” he said, and Adam just looked at him, trying to think of what to say. “So… you and my friends hang out a lot. I mean, they’re our friends, but still… you know what I mean,” he said, and Neil raised both eyebrows in unimpressed confusion.

“Well… yeah, and?” he prompted and Adam groaned.

“Okay, fine, I was hoping you’d say it yourself,” he said, then looked at him. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?!” he asked quickly. “I mean… we may not be the best of friends and given the circumstances, I can see how it would be awkward, but… I figured you would know you can trust me enough to talk about it!”

Neil just stared. “Adam… what the hell are you talking about?” he asked, head tilted to the side curiously.

Adam just rolled his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me about you liking boys?!” he asked, and Neil’s jaw dropped.

“Adam, what the fuck?” he asked, gaping. “What on earth gave you the idea I suddenly like dudes?! I mean… if hanging around gay guys was going to make me like guys, I sort of grew up with one,” he said with a gesture to Adam. “If I DID like guys, yeah, the fact my only sibling is gay would’ve probably made me come to you first.”

Adam leaned back, frowning. “Then is it a ‘gender doesn’t matter’ thing? I’ve heard of that before, like… I knew a guy when I was younger that had been gay all his life then met a girl and ended up marrying her,” he said, and Neil just gave Adam the most perplexed look.

“I’m straight and single, Adam. I don’t know what you’re asking me,” Neil stressed, and Adam just leveled him with a pointed look.

“I’m talking about Cheeks, Neil,” he said, and Neil nodded.

“Okay, what about him? I told you, hanging out with a gay dude isn’t going to-“

Adam cut him off. “Wait, you’re not like… dating secretly?!” he asked, and Neil developed a blank expression.

“Why would he be dating me?” he asked, and Adam raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms.

“You just said it, Neil, ‘why would he be dating me’ not ‘I be dating him’,” he said, and Neil glared. “Holy shit, you’re into him but think it’s a secret!” he said, laughing in surprise. “Aww, that’s so fucking cute-“

“I am _not_ into Brad, Adam,” Neil defended. “Where did you even get this idea?” he asked, and Adam shot him a look.

“Well, I got the idea from Sutan, who claimed you guys were fucking cuddling at your place when he and Tommy crashed, and Brad turned pink as hell denying it so we were joking, thinking he had a crush on you, but then tonight what happens when you go to the living room?” he asked, smirking. “You sit beside him, even though there were other empty seats, and you put your arm along the couch behind him so his head is on your arm when he looks up at him, and you called him beautiful,” he said, and Neil’s ears turned pink.

“What the fuck, I sit beside someone and it makes me interested in them?” he asked. “And he _is_ beautiful, I don’t have to like him to see his face,” he said, and Adam smirked.

“You never call any of your other friends beautiful. And you said, beautiful, pretty is friendly, beautiful is sweet,” he teased. “Besides, it all makes sense now! You two bickering all the time is pulling pigtails! You’re both about the equally bitchiest people in the universe, you’re fucking _perfect_ for each other!” he said gleefully. “Aww, that’s so cute but so sad for mom and dad. Now they’ll never have grandchildren,” he noted with a thoughtful hum. “I wonder how Sauli feels about surrogacy or adoption?”

Neil glowered. “Surrogacy with your DNA won’t be an option if you keep going on, asshole,” he said, and Adam grinned.

“Ooh, struck a nerve!” Adam laughed. “There is a God! My straight, smart little brother has enough of a gay spot in his heart for the epitome of homosexuality! Life is fair!” Adam cheered, socking Neil in the shoulder before heading inside. “Hey baby! My brother’s not totally straight anymore-“

“ADAM YOU BITCH!” Neil cried, only to have the door slammed in his face. He grabbed the handle and gaped when he realized Adam had locked him out. “PRICK!” he shouted, then grumbled, making sure he had his keys as he stalked down the steps.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Neil just sipped his beer, shaking his head. “How did I get talked into this?” he asked, looking at the others at his table.

Tommy just grinned. “They needed boys with them to keep the creepers from hitting on them,” he said, then snickered. “Although, it doesn’t seem to be working,” he said, gesturing to the guys at the bar all watching Sutan and Cheeks dancing, both of them covered in glitter, with metallic makeup painted across their eyes, wearing neon colored clothes to boot.

Neil snorted. “How do we both end up going to gay bars all the time?” he asked. “I love my friends, but really, do you have any idea how many times I get my ass grabbed on my way to the bar?” he asked, and Tommy laughed.

“You’re big enough that you don’t get full on groped like me, dude,” he said, then shrugged. “Hey, I don’t mind it, Sutan is busy a lot, so whenever he’s free I like to hang out with him. Besides, I’m telling you man, you can get a lot of tail at a gay bar,” he said, and Neil shot him a flat look. “No really! Think of all the guys who bright their best friends, straight girls, with them then flake off on them with a hot boy?” He smirked. “You can pick up some lonely ladies with so much less competition.”

Neil just rolled his eyes. “You’re such a slut, Tommy,” he said, snickering. “I’m not much of one to pick up girls at a bar. Bars aren’t exactly the places to find girls that won’t infect you with something. I like _not_ having diseases,” he said plainly.

Tommy shrugged. “Eh, syphilis is cured easily enough,” he said offhandedly and Neil gave him a disgusted look. “What?! I didn’t say I’ve ever had it!” he said, and Neil made a face.

“Uh-huh, right,” Neil said skeptically.

“Right what?” They both turned as Sutan slumped down into his seat, breathing hard from all the dancing.

“Tommy’s got syphilis,” Neil said, and Tommy glared.

“I do not. I just said nothing wrong with picking up a girl at a bar because even if you were to get syphilis, it’s cured easily!” he defended.

Sutan shrugged. “I pick up boys at bars all the time,” he said to Neil, who just scrunched up his notes.

“Bar hook-ups are reserved for desperation. I won’t say I’ve never done it, but really… all the diseases…” he said, cringing.

Sutan snorted. “You sound like Cheeks. He hasn’t picked up a boy at a bar since his friend Kate got crabs from a random boy at a bar. He was all ‘ew, I’ll start picking up boys at libraries and shit!’ and hasn’t been the whore he once was ever sense,” he said in a mock solemn tone.

“I heard my name, what’s up?” Cheeks asked, dropping into his seat with flushed cheeks.

Tommy snickered. “We’re talking STDs. We’ve decided you’re one giant diseased pustule.”

Cheeks snorted. “Bitch, I’ve never had a disease, I haven’t slept with hundreds of people like you, Mr. Rockstar,” he said, and Tommy grinned.

“You say that like I should be ashamed or something,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Neil scoffed. “Hundreds my ass, more like _maybe_ double digits,” he said and Tommy laughed.

“Okay, no, not hundreds, but I am thirty, dude,” he pointed out.

Brad rolled his eyes. “Whatever, keep talking sluts bagged, I’m going to get drinks, who wants to come help me carry?” he asked.

“Ooh, me, the bartender is cute!” Sutan said, catching Brad’s hand as they started off through the crowd.

When they got to the bar, they were waiting on their drinks when a guy bumped into Cheeks, knocking him into Sutan. “Watch it,” Sutan said, putting a hand on Brad’s shoulder to help him balance.

The guy turned and smirked when he spotted Cheeks glaring up at him. “Hey there, baby,” he said, eyes glassy as he slurred some. “C’mere, I’ll make it up to you,” he said, reaching down to slip his arm around Brad’s waist.

“Um, no thanks,” he said, wiggling away, back to Sutan’s side.

“No really, come back, baby,” he said, tugging Cheeks back to his side, grabbing his ass.

Cheeks gasped. “How dare you, get your hands off me!” he choked out shoving the guy. He didn’t let go and his buddy walked over.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked, and Sutan glowered.

“Get your guy here off my friend,” he said, grabbing at the guy’s wrist, trying to pull his arms away from Cheeks.

Brad got a hand free and slapped the guy holding him, jerking away. “Don’t fucking touch me, you asshole!” he spat, cheeks read from his struggling. The guy straightened up and glared at Cheeks, who froze at the angry look. “Uh-oh.”

Before anybody could react, the man drew back and punched Cheeks right in the face. Sutan cried out, catching his friend as he stumbled back. “CHEEKS?!” he cried, only to gasp when he saw his nose was bleeding around the hand covering his face. “Asshole!” he shouted, shoving the man, only to squeak when the guy’s friend reached out and grabbed him, pulling him away, starting an all out scuffle.

Sutan elbowed the one grabbing him in the ribs, then cried out as the guy he’d shoved came up and grabbed him by the shirt. “Oh shit,” he squeaked, fighting to get free.

“Hey, get the fuck off him!” Sutan turned to hear Tommy’s voice, and immediately knew the shit had hit the fan. He wasn’t a fan of violence, but Tommy had no qualms throwing down, so he knew what was coming before Tommy even threw the first punch.

There were shouts and screams around them as the situation dissolved into a full on fist fight, which led to a bar brawl. Sutan just tried to duck out of it the best he could.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“I cannot believe this,” Sutan said, glaring at Tommy and Neil from his side of the cell, sitting next to a drunk who was passed out across the rest of the bench. “Do you know what happens to drag queens in prison?!” he hissed venomously.

Tommy rolled his eyes, though only one showed as the other was nearly swollen shut. “You’re six and a half feet tall, I’m tiny, tell me who is going to get raped fist?” he asked and Neil snorted.

“Neither, since we’re in general lock up, our only cellmate is passed out and smelling of sherry, and you’re hanging around an actual _man_ ,” he said, gesturing to himself. He sighed. “How is this real?” he asked, whining when Tommy snickered poked at Neil’s swollen lip and cut cheek. “Jerk,” he said, shoving him off. “I actually was just in a bar fight,” he said, then paused dramatically. “At a _gay bar_! Not a biker bar, or a redneck bar, or a gang-bangers club… a gay bar!”

Tommy hummed. “True, I figured my first full on bar brawl would at least be against ex-cons in biker boots, not two big drunk assholes trying to grope my friend.” He looked at Neil. “I’m shocked you got into it, really. I mean, you seem like the last person to get into a fight,” he said.

Neil groaned. “I was hoping not to get into a fight, but I was already halfway there before you were, I was going to just try and show up and convince those two to fuck off of Sutan and Brad, cause I mean… two decent sized guys and a tiny guy and a skinny guy, not that fair, you know? I figured I’d walk up and they’d fuck off. But I saw that guy hit Brad and I knew it wasn’t going to work that way. Then your punk ass showed up and I wasn’t gonna be the pussy,” he said, and Tommy smirked.

“Neil, you are a man now, fuck a bar mitzvah, you got into your first bar fight!” he said as if he were a proud parent. “I’m so happy,” he added with fake sniffles, only to wince when his ‘rubbing his eyes’ hurt his black eye.

Sutan glared. “That’s great and all, but we’re still _in jail_!”

Tommy hummed. “You think Cheeks is okay?” he asked.

Neil groaned. “God I hope so. I tried to get him back away from all the flailing fists, but his nose was bleeding a lot already. He didn’t end up in jail with us, so chances are he either got out or got hurt,” he said, and Sutan and Tommy shared worried looks.

“You three, you made bail,” the guard said, coming to unlock the door.

Sutan sighed. “Oh thank GOD.”

“Please don’t be my mom,” Tommy said with a cringe.

Neil snorted. “Please don’t be _my_ mom.”

When they got out front, they were shocked to find Adam standing there, glaring through his sunglasses. “You know Neil, when Dad called and asked me to go pick you up from _jail_ I thought he was kidding,” he said, then looked at Tommy and Sutan. “You two, I’m not shocked at all,” he said, and Sutan flipped him off. “Especially not you, Tommy, I’ve been expecting to have to get your ass out of jail since I met you,” he said, and Tommy grinned, hugging him.

“Thank you for bailing me out,” he said. “I tried calling my mom but I didn’t get through. I was worried I’d be in here all night.”

“How’s Brad?” Neil asked and Adam smirked, ignoring the dark look Neil gave him.

“He’s fine, his nose wasn’t broken, just busted. He got hauled off to the hospital, not arrested like you three,” he said, leading them outside. “Seriously, I was just getting out of a meeting, you’re lucky I didn’t leave you here all night.”

“In my defense,” Sutan started. “I didn’t mean to start a bar fight, I’m usually against violence, but the guy punched Cheeks, I simply shoved him out of the way. I didn’t know he and his buddy would start kicking the shit out of us. Tommy and Neil just came to try and help-“

“I came to try and prevent a fight, I just got there too late,” Neil argued.

Adam sighed. “Tommy, you realize if you were recognized, Lane is going to have both our balls, right?”

Tommy smirked. “Kinky, kinky lady,” he joked and Adam glared.

“You little shit, you’re a reflection of me- help me GOD- and you got in the bar fight with my brother, who is a reflection of my DNA- help me even more, God- and then two of my friends, one of which may or may not be my brother’s boyfriend-“

“I AM NOT INTO CHEEKS!” Neil cried and Tommy and Sutan just chuckled.

“Yes you are, stop denying it. Great to see Adam agrees through,” Tommy said, ducking under Sutan’s arm, slinging his around Sutan’s hips. “My baby giraffe and I have decided we need to get you two together somehow,” he said, and Sutan poked him in the cheek playfully.

Adam snorted. “Alright, I’m leaving,” he said once they got to his car. “You three find your own way home, I’m tired, it’s late, and I have to be up early. Fuck all ya’ll bitches,” he said, sliding into the driver’s seat and then driving away.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Neil was nearly asleep when there was a knock at the door. He groaned and got up to go answer, wondering who it could be. When he got there and opened the door, he was surprised to see Cheeks there. “Brad! Hey, are you alright?” he asked, looking at his face to check out the bruising.

Brad chuckled, walking inside. “Yeah, nothing broken, just a bloody nose. I see you came away a little worse for wear,” he said, looking at the cut on Neil’s cheek. “Ow.”

Neil snorted. “Should see Tommy, he’s got a shiner,” he said, yawning as he headed into the kitchen. “So why’re you here?” he asked, stretching and scratching his belly as he walked over to stare blankly into the refrigerator. “I figure you’d be home. It’s like… four in the morning,” he said and Cheeks shrugged, leaning on the counter as Neil gave up and shut the door.

“I couldn’t sleep and I heard you guys were out. I thought I’d come check on you, since you’re closer than the other two and unlikely to throw a high heel at me,” he said and Neil laughed. “I’m really sorry you got thrown in jail over me,” he said, tugging at the pockets of his hoodie bashfully.

Neil scoffed. “You didn’t get me thrown in jail, Tommy got me thrown in jail. Even after Sutan shoved that guy and he hit him, it would’ve probably stopped there after I got you guys away from them, but Tommy came in fists flying and it was all downhill,” he said, and Brad laughed.

“It was really awesome how you like… dragged me out of the way and then got kicked in the face,” he said, and Neil glared. “It was very sweet, you know, taking a flying foot to the face for me, but it was still amusing,” he said with a sneaky smile.

Neil snorted. “You’re such a jerk,” he said, then smiled with a sigh. “Although it is better I get hit, since I’m a lot bigger and less likely to die from it,” he said, and Brad started to retort but he held up a hand. “And, no fucking up your pretty face,” he said, and Brad smiled, rolling his eyes.

“Aww, that’s sweet, but your face is fucked,” he said, reaching up to touch Neil’s cheek, where a dark bruise was spreading around the cut on his cheekbone. “I mean, my nose is sore and it isn’t even bruised,” he noted. Neil hissed as Brad touched his face, shivering slightly as his touch softened. “Sorry, does it hurt?” Brad asked in a small voice, looking up to meet Neil’s eyes, only to falter. In the dimness of the kitchen, his eyes were nearly black, they were so dark. He started to move his hand, only to gasp when Neil suddenly grabbed his wrist and held it. They stared each other down, both afraid to react, until finally, Brad moved his fingers enough to stroke along Neil’s jaw.

Neil startled them both by ducking down to press his lips to Brad’s, only to pull away with a choked sound. “Sorry, I- I don’t- I just-“

Brad smiled suddenly. “Shut up,” he said, leaning in to kiss Neil, silencing him. The reaction was immediately, Neil kissed back, startling Brad as he grabbed him around the waist and tugged him close, both of them sinking into the frantic, hard, sloppy kiss. “You wanna-“

“Yeah,” Neil grunted against his lips, earning a squeak as he picked Brad up, hands around his thighs.

“Neil!” Brad squealed, laughing as Neil stepped forward twice and sat him on the counter, lips moving down to his throat. “Oh fuck yeah,” he moaned, fingers sinking into Neil’s curls. Neil only pulled back to unzip Brad’s sweater, shoving it down off of his shoulders. Brad let him snatch it off, then caught Neil in a kiss as he reached out and shoved at the ratty tee shirt Neil had been wearing to sleep. He broke the kiss to snatch it off of Neil, who immediately caught his lips again, going for his shirt as well. When he hauled the shirt off, he didn’t seem that bothered by the fact he was stripping a man as he ducked down and kissed across Brad’s collar bones, making him arch.

He only slowed as his hand slid from Brad’s thighs to his hips, then slowly skated across to the front of his jeans. “You want to…” he trailed off, fingers on the button, and Brad whined.

“Yes, yeah, uh-huh,” he said, turning back to kiss Neil, who quickly undid his jeans. Brad sucked on his tongue as he reached down to grope at Neil through the thin cotton of his pajama pants, groaning in surprise as he grabbed Neil’s erection, raising an eyebrow as he slid his had further, feeling exactly how big he was. “Holy shit, tell me you have condoms,” he choked as he broke the kiss. Neil lifted his head and glanced around, then reached out to grab his wallet off the end of the counter, opening it with shaky hands as Brad kissed down his throat, sucking on bits of skin as he went. He dug out a condom and let out a triumphant sound.

“I don’t- I don’t have-“ Neil started, only to be cut off by another filthy kiss as Brad laid back and wiggled his jeans off, picking them up to dig into the back pocket, taking out his own wallet. He tugged open a small compartment on the inside and pulled out a few small packets. Neil just snorted. “Seriously?” he asked, and Brad rolled his eyes.

“Hey, some boys carry condoms, I carry lube, it works out!” he said, then threw his pants over his shoulder. “Where were we?” he asked with a flirty little smirk, tugging Neil close again, kissing him deeply.

Within minutes, Brad was sprawled with his head against the cabinets and his hands twisting Neil’s curls as Neil thrust into him in hard, sharp movements, eliciting high whines. “Neil, Neil, fuck I need- oh- harder!” he moaned, only to squeak when Neil suddenly grabbed him by the thighs and tugged him off of the counter. He clung to Neil’s shoulders, legs tight around his waist. “Neil-“

“Fuck,” Neil groaned, turning them around before shoving Brad against the refrigerator door with a bang. Brad cried out in surprise as the angle was _perfect_. “Yeah?”he asked, pressing Neil against the door, giving another hard thrust as he sought his lips in a kiss. Brad squeaked against his lips, moaning around his tongue.

“Oh fuck, Neil,” he gasped, arching his back as Neil fucked him hard and fast. “Oh Jesus fuck, _Neil_!” he cried, clinging to his back.

Neil’s thrusts sped up, hard and fast as he groaned. “Brad, Bradley, fuck, oh fuck,” he babbled and Brad moaned high and long as every thrust was so good he could feel himself getting nearer with only the friction of Neil’s belly against this erection.

As Neil’s groans and grunts got more desperate, his thrusts sped up. Brad could only hang on tight as the refrigerator bounced against the wall, magnets falling to the floor, some digging in his back. The cabinets around the refrigerator were rattling, doors bouncing, things inside falling over as the intensity of their lusty acts increased both in force and speed. “Neil!”

“Brad- oh fuck are you- _fuck_!”

“NEIL!” Brad cried out, nails raking down his back. “Oh God, ah fuck!” he cried, tucking his face into the crook of Neil’s neck as he got so close, every thrust feeling like it should be enough, riding right on the edge for far too long before he came, muffling a scream of pleasure against Neil’s shoulder.

Brad was still barely conscious, having came so hard he could only trust Neil to hold him up anymore, when Neil gave one last vicious thrust before he groaned, hips jumping tiny, stilted movements as he reached his end. “Fuck,” Neil groaned seconds before he slipped free of Brad’s body and they both slid gracelessly to a crumpled pile on the floor.

Brad groaned and rolled off of Neil, panting weakly. “Jesus Christ,” he gasped out and Neil made a smug sound.

“Nah, my name’s Neil, although I am a Jew too,” he answered, and Brad burst into sex-faded giggles, rolling over to curl against Neil’s side.

“Mmmm I don’t think I can move yet,” he said, and Neil snorted, curling his arms beneath his head.

“I don’t think I’ll ever move again,” he said, and it was the last thing Brad heard before sleep welcomed his exhausted body with open arms.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Brad and Neil both jerked awake at the sound of somebody knocking on the door. “Whazzit?!” Brad squeaked sleepily and Neil groaned, sitting up slowly.

“Wha-“ he looked around, frowning, only to look over at Brad and go wide eyed. “Oh shit!” he cried and Brad looked up at him sleepily.

“Where am I?” he mumbled, yawning and stretching, only to cringe and shift, pulling something from beneath him. He held up a magnet and frowned. “Why was Australia on my ass?” he asked, then turned to look at Neil, only to go wide eyed and sit up straight. “We fucked!” he hissed in shock as it came back to him.

“Yeah, we did-“

“Neil wake your ass up!” a voice called, muffled by the door before the thudding sounded again.

“Oh shit, that’s Eber!” Brad said, and Neil jumped up, rushing to grab his pajama pants.

“He was coming to visit this weekend, shit shit shit,” Neil hissed as he jumped around, dragging his clothes on.

Brad grabbed his jeans and wiggled into them, then searched around for his shirt. “Shit, NEIL! Where’s my shirt?!” he cried, finding his hoodie but no shirt. “Fuck,” he whined, zipping up the jacket and grabbing his shoes and socks, rushing to throw them next to the door so they didn’t look too out of place. “What do I do?” he asked, and Neil stopped trying to fix his hair, thinking quickly. “NEIL!” he hissed impatiently.

“Get on the couch and pretend you’re asleep,” he said quickly. “If he asks, you fell asleep here-“

“NEIL I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME FROM YOUR ROOM!” Eber shouted, banging harder. “AND YOUR PHONE IS OFF SO DON’T BLAME ME WHEN YOUR NEIGHBORS ARE PISSED!”

Neil groaned and ran to the door, stumbling over Brad’s shoes as he caught himself on the door knob. He glanced back to make sure Brad was faking sleep, then opened the door, yawning groggily as he tried to pretend he hadn’t just made a mad dash around to get dressed. “Fuck, sorry. My phone’s off. I didn’t get up-“

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he said, shoving past with a grin. “So, your brother tells me he had to bail you out of jail last night! I never expected you to end up arrested,” he said, starting towards the couch, only to start when Brad yawned dramatically and sat up slowly. “Holy shit!” Eber cursed, clutching his chest. “Don’t _do that_!” he said in annoyance.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Brad said, blinking ‘sleepily’. “Neil, I didn’t mean to sleep over,” he said, and Neil faked a nonchalant shrug.

“You fell asleep and I figured I’d leave you there. It was late anyways,” he said, and Brad smiled.

“So, Eber, hear about the bar fight?” he asked and Eber snickered.

“Yeah, I did, I heard you two and Tommy and Sutan all got in a bar brawl. I was shocked at three of you,” he said, then passed him. “Wild guess who I expected to hear out of those,” he said, starting towards the kitchen.

Brad’s eyes widened and he jumped up. “Yeah, come look at Neil’s face!” he said, trying to draw Eber’s attention to Neil, away from the kitchen, which was still sort of in shambles. “He blocked a kick for me using his face!”

“Yeah, I saw,” he said, heading on to the kitchen.

Brad turned to Neil and squeaked, jumping in place with wide eyes. Neil shrugged, holding his hands out to show he couldn’t help and Brad glared and poked him hard in the chest, then made awkward hand gestures that ended in pointing at the kitchen and putting his other hand on his hip, all complete with a death glare. Neil held up his hands helplessly. “What?! I can’t do anything now-“

“Whoa, was there a small earthquake last night?” Eber called and they both froze, turning to look that direction with horrified eyes. “Why the hell are all the magnets on the floor?” he called out. They walked closer slowly, biding their time, only to stop in the doorway and watch as Eber opened the cabinet and the coffee can fell out on his head. “AH what the fuck?” he cried, then frowned, going to open the other cabinet above the refrigerator and watch a few plastic cups tumble out. “What the hell happened to your cabinets?” he asked, then opened the refrigerator, only to stare as three cans of soda rolled out onto the floor. “Everything is all fucked up around the refrigerator, but the bowl of fruit isn’t even shifted over there,” he said, pointing across the room.

“Uh, I don’t know, maybe the floor settled?” Neil offered a little too quickly.

Eber hummed. “Huh, maybe you should call your landlord,” he said, then shut the door, only to frown. He leaned down and came back up from the floor with something gray in his hands. “What the-“ He opened up the shirt and frowned at how small it was, then turned to Neil and Brad, who were both bright red. “WHOA!” he said, eyes widening. He dropped the shirt like it was on fire and looked between it and Brad, who turned wordlessly and stalked away. Neil stared at the floor, flaming cheeks as he heard the front door slam as Cheeks left.

“Um, no idea where that came from?” Neil offered and Eber suddenly smirked, giggling like Christmas had come early.

“Something you forgot to tell me, son?” he asked and Neil whined, slapping his hands over his face as he turned to slam his head against the door casing. “Oh God, this is too good,” Eber said, laughing himself into a coughing fit. “Oh God, It’s too amazing,” he said, leaning against the counter heavily, only to come back with a wallet. “Uh, I think he ran out without this?” he said, offering it to Neil, who cringed and took it, shoving it in his pocket.

“Yeah, I doubt he’s coming back now,” Neil said awkwardly.

Eber just leaned against the counter and smirked as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Neil, Neil, Neil,” he said, shaking his head in mock sternness. “In the _kitchen_?” he asked and Neil groaned.

“DAD!” he whined, walking over to start picking up magnets. “I am not having this conversation-“

“I’d say! You’ve had eleven years of being absolutely sure you COULD have that conversation with me or your mother, but _nooo_ , I get to nearly walk in on some kitchen nookie-“

“EW DAD!” Neil cried in horror.

“Well it’s true!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tommy yawned as he came back with coffee for Cheeks. “Not that I don’t love you immensely, but I sorta went to jail for you last night and didn’t get home until nearly four in the morning, the least you could’ve done is not come around at nine,” he said, curling up against the arm of the couch next to Cheeks. “And why did you need my clothes?” he asked, looking at the shirt Cheeks had stolen.

Cheeks blushed and sipped his coffee. “I forgot to put one on when I left home,” he said and Tommy hummed, closing his eyes as he cuddled his travel mug with bugs bunny on the side like it was a warm teddy bear. “Tommy… have you or would you ever sleep with a guy even when you’re straight, and like… maybe it was an accident?” he asked, and Tommy snorted.

“Not on accident, but yeah… I’d sleep with a guy if it felt right,” he said, and Cheeks raised an eyebrow as Tommy peeked out of one eye. “What?! I let Adam grope me and mouth rape me for a _year_ , do you think I never wondered about doing more with a dude? I even made out with a few boys on tour, just to see if I liked it sexually or just in the ‘kissing is fun’ way.”

Cheeks nodded. “Would you though? I mean… just sleep with a guy just out of curiosity or like… because he was there and you were horny?” he asked awkwardly.

Tommy snickered. “Dude, why are you asking me this shit? Do you really think I would ever be so desperate for a fuck that I’d screw a dude just to avoid jerking off? You don’t just sleep with a guy cause he’s there when you’re straight. I mean, I’m sure some would out of curiosity, but not just because he’s there.” He shrugged. “Or, you know, just because you’re straight doesn’t mean everybody would say no if they met a person of the same gender that they actually liked, I guess.” He yawned. “I’d totally date a guy if I met one I was into like I’m into girls. Just hasn’t happened so I don’t think I’ve got to worry about THAT identity crisis this late in life.” He looked at Cheeks. “So, why’re you asking?” he asked, then wiggled his eyebrows. “Meet a girl?” he teased.

Cheeks snorted. “Ew, God no,” he said, shrugging. “I just… was wondering. Thanks for trying to help me last night,” he said again for the third time that morning.

“Yeah, I heard the first few times-“ Tommy’s phone rang and he whined, picking it up off the table. “Adam it is nine in the morning, why is everybody calling me-“ He stopped and held the phone away slightly as Adam shouted at him through the earpiece. He held it closer, then frowned, only to suddenly go wide eyed and smirk at Cheeks, who gave him a horrified look. “Kitchen nookie, huh?” he asked, and Cheeks went bright red, whining as he covered his face. “I love Eber. Oh God, kitchen nookie!” he giggled. He looked up. “So wait, Cheeks, that’s why you asked about straight guys fucking dudes at random?” he asked. There was a pause and Tommy grinned. “Yeah, Cheeks is here, dude. He showed up all ‘thanks for saving my ass- by the way is it normal for straight boys to sleep with other boys out of the blue’! It was confusing but now I get it.”

“Oh God, my life can’t get worse,” Cheeks said with a whine.

Tommy grinned. “Why yes, he did ‘lose’ his wallet. How kind of Neil to be on his way here right now to give it to me to give to Cheeks, since they ‘got into an argument’,” he said sarcastically and Cheeks groaned and curled in a ball, hiding his face. “Wow, your baby brother fucked one of your exes, that’s amazing!”

“TOMMY!” Cheeks cried, blushing. “Inappropriate!” he said, pointing.

Tommy grinned. “Adam says ‘don’t ever mention somebody having had sex with me and my brother both ever again’ so I have to ask, who has a bigger cock?” he asked, and Brad flushed and shook his head. “It’s Adam isn’t it? I’ve felt it all up on me on stage before, it’s got to be him,” he said, and Cheeks heard Adam shouting at him from the earpiece. “Hey, you were to hard! If that was you half-mast, dude, I weep for your boyfriend, there’s such a thing as too-big, I’m sure!” He smirked. “So, Cheeks, my pal. Who’s is bigger?”

Cheeks groaned and shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t really remember-“

“HA! So Adam’s dick wasn’t big enough to be memorable? Damn, what do you date, horses?!” he asked, and Brad glared.

“Fine, if you must know, Neil was a little bigger, at least thicker for sure,” he snapped, then flushed and slapped a hand over his mouth at his outburst.

Tommy burst out laughing, curling around his phone and coffee cup. “Oh God, Adam- Adam your brother’s dick is bigger than yours! Aha he is better than you at something! You’re not the golden child in every aspect! He’s smarter and has a bigger dick- Hello? Adam? Hello, Adam, you there?” Tommy asked, then frowned. “Ooh, sore spot,” he said, then smirked. “So… you screwed our buddy Neil,” he said, sighing as he laid back. “That’s too perfect.”

“I hate you,” he spat at Tommy, who just smirked.

“Love you too, sweetums!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tommy insisted on stopping by Adam’s before taking Cheeks home and he could only consent or walk, since he didn’t have his wallet and staying at Tommy’s when Neil was on his way was NOT an option.

When they just traipsed in, courtesy of Tommy’s key, Tommy called out. “ADAM! I brought the falsifier!” he called and Adam slid out of the kitchen, pointing at Cheeks.

“You lie! My brother doesn’t even have a penis, take it back!” he accused.

Cheeks rolled his eyes. “Oh my God, I’m not having this conversation-“

“Take it back, Bradley! I’ve got the biggest dick and you know it,” he commanded.

Tommy giggled and shoved past Adam. “Sauli! Your boyfriend’s about to kill somebody, come see!” he said cheerfully as he went to raid the refrigerator.

Adam huffed. “I’m not going to kill him, but his pants may catch on fire from all the _lying_!” He walked into the kitchen with Cheeks on his heels. “Sauli, he’s lying!” he said, pouting dramatically. “Baby brother’s don’t have downstairs parts, it’s just a fact!”

“Of course not, baby,” he said, smiling as he held out a plate of toast to Adam, who grabbed a piece with a huff. “So, does he really?” he asked Cheeks, who groaned, putting his face in his hands.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve been more embarrassed this morning than in my whole life before… I don’t _get_ embarrassed!” he emphasized. “But seriously, this morning has just… wow, over the fence and out of the park,” he said, shaking his head.

Sauli raised an eyebrow and Adam laughed. “Baseball reference,” he said, nudging Sauli with his shoulder. “And I also hate you for having to hear my father use the words ‘kitchen nookie’-“ Tommy burst into giggles and Cheeks sighed, letting his head fall to the counter top.

“Oh God, I could kill your entire family starting with you today,” Cheeks said and Adam scoffed.

“All I did was call you on your bluff about the size of my brother’s non-existent boy bits,” he said, biting into his toast viciously.

“You know, the sex last night sorta proves your theory is just self-delusion,” he pointed out, then smirked. “And besides, the cats out of the bag so I’ll go ahead and say it, definitely thicker if memory serves right,” he said with a grin. “Possibly all around bigger I’d bet.”

Tommy hummed. “I should ‘accidentally’ back up when he’s behind me and find out,” he said and Adam just gaped.

Sauli snickered and Tommy nodded at him before stealing a piece of the toast on the plate. “This doesn’t bother you at all? We’re talking about your dude’s dick,” he said, taking a bite before speaking with his mouth full. “Ah meh, we bof haf epewance wif yo gahs pehhis soh of.”

Cheeks stared at him flatly. “That’s disgusting, I don’t know what anybody sees in you,” he said, making a disgusted face. “I speak ‘dude’ and I don’t even know what you said,” he said.

Tommy swallowed. “I asked him if it doesn’t bother him at all that we both know so much abou this dude’s dick,” he said, and Adam frowned.

“Wow, _that_ is what you asked him? I had no idea what you said,” he said, and Sauli chuckled.

“No, I don’t mind at all, I find it amusing really,” he said, then grinned playfully. “Besides, I’m curious, I’ve always wondered about Neil. He’s so different from Adam but they sort of look alike and they’re similar builds… it’s only natural to be curious,” he added and Adam snorted.

“Wow, I love you too, jerk,” he grumbled.

The door opened and shut and Cheeks sighed. “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?” he asked and they all waited.

“Adam, Tommy lied, he wasn’t even at his house, so I’m bringing it here, get Sutan to take it to Cheeks!” Neil bitched as he came in, only to stop and stare when he saw Tommy and Cheeks sitting at the counter. “Oh joy,” he said flatly.

Tommy smirked. “So Neil, my good buddy, you can settle an argument for us!” he said and Adam and Cheeks both made horrified sounds.

“Tommy, don’t-“

“He doesn’t _have one_ , I refuse to believe otherwise-“

Tommy looked as if Christmas had come early. “Cheeks here says your dick’s bigger than Adam’s,” he said with a pat on the shoulder of the man banging his head against the counter. “Adam however, swears you’re a Ken doll.”

Neil raised an eyebrow, clearly torn between amused and annoyed. “I don’t know how to react to that,” he said simply. “Other than to say I do actually have a dick,” he said to Adam, pointing. “I wish I could choose to believe you’re a Ken doll but sadly, you wear the smallest pants possible. It’s terrifying and I swear, you nearly put Tommy’s eye out that one time,” he said, and Tommy smirked.

“Wasn’t his fault, it likes pretty blonde boys, it just wanted to say hello,” he said, and Adam glared while everybody else fought giggles or disgusted looks. “Just tell us, Neil, is your dick bigger than your brother’s?” he asked and Neil made a face.

“Seriously?! How the fuck should I know? It isn’t like I’ve looked at my brother naked and compared his body to mine. I’m not actually a pervert,” he said pointedly.

“It isn’t,” Adam said firmly. “You don’t have one-“

“I do, Adam, you’re just a jerk-“

“Oh for fucks sake, Neil’s dick is bigger, CAN WE STOP DISCUSSING IT?!” Cheeks snapped, glaring at Tommy, who was nearly wetting himself with laughter.

Neil seemed to think about it, then smirk, shifting his entire demeanor to what could only be called smug. “You know, that’s almost worth hearing my dad say ‘kitchen-“

“Neil Lambert, if you finish that sentence, I will _make_ you a Ken doll,” Cheeks said, glaring up at him.

Neil scoffed. “Well excuse me, I can’t help that somebody jumped me in my kitchen-“

“Oh come on, you kissed me first-“

“Yeah, and I didn’t expect it to lead to sex! Hell, you’re the one that came to my house in the early hours after I’d just gotten out of jail and you out of the hospital!” he accused, stalking up to him. “And you didn’t even hide your shirt when my dad showed up-“

Cheeks stalked up to him, staring straight up with his hands on his hips angrily. “Like THAT is what tipped him off, not the magnets all over the floor and everything falling out of the refrigerator-“

“And who’s fault is that-“

“I didn’t tell you to fuck me up against the refrigerator! I was fine and dandy on the counter, you’re the one that changed venues there buddy,” he snapped, poking Neil in the stomach.

Neil threw his hands up and turned to walk out. “God, there’s no making a point with you!” he cried in exasperation and Cheeks huffed and stomped his foot before following him into the hall, bitching.

Adam, Tommy, and Sauil exchanged glances. “I can’t decide if this is amusing or horrific,” Adam admitted and Tommy and Sauli smirked at each other.

“Amusing,” they said in unison, only to be cut off by a shout from the hallway as Neil kept walking back and forth past the kitchen door, Cheeks on his heels shouting.

“I’VE GOT AN AUSTRALIA SHAPED BRUISE ON MY ASS!”

Tommy hummed. “Could be worse, could be Florida,” he said, and Adam snickered.

“Better than Italy, would look like somebody was kicking his ass,” he said, and Tommy snorted.

“For fucks sake!” Neil cried, stalking back into the kitchen. “Will you give it up, you came over with something in mind or you wouldn’t have come there, admit it!” he cried, turning around to face Cheeks, who stopped and huffed.

“You. Kissed. Me. First!” he accused, hands on his hips as he got right up in Neil’s space, staring right up at him.

“There was a fucking moment!” Neil said with flushed cheeks, only to stop as their glares locked, both of them giving each other enraged, death glares, frozen otherwise.

Tommy hummed. “You know, if this was a movie,” he started, pausing to chew on his toast, only to not need to continue as Neil and Cheeks both made growly sounds before pouncing on each other.

Adam’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped in horror as Cheeks jumped, wrapping his legs around Neil, who grabbed him by the ass and squeezed as they seemingly attempted to eat each other’s faces. “Ewwwww, does not compute, does not compute!” Adam whined, slapping a hand over his eyes in horror.

Tommy just settled for choking on toast until he fell off the barstool, lying on the floor as he laughed himself nearly to death, watching as Neil stumbled out of the room, too preoccupied with the man clinging to him, arms around his neck, hands tangled in his hair, to look where he was going.

“DO NOT DO THAT IN MY HOUSE!” Adam cried, following them to throw them out before they could defile his house, hand over his eyes the whole time.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tommy and Sutan met for lunch and Tommy couldn’t help grin when Sutan showed up in full Raja, earning blank stares as she walked in with mile long legs exposed by the tiniest skirt in existence. “Haven’t seen my woman in a while,” Tommy said, standing up for a hug, snickering when he was chest height. “Hmm, I could get used to this,” he said, winking up at Raja, giving her a slap on the ass before they sat back down.

“Oh yeah, pretty sure the waiter thinks you’re the luckiest man ever, dating an Amazon or something,” Raja said with a grin. “So, what’ve you been up to? I haven’t heard from Adam or Cheeks in days.”

Tommy smirked. “Adam is still suffering mental scars that only vast quantities of being snuggled by a cute blonde boy can fix, and I haven’t seen Cheeks since four days ago, when he and Neil started getting it on right in front of Adam, Sauli, and me in Adam’s kitchen the morning after we got out of jail.”

Raja gaped. “What?! _Neil_?!”

Tommy grinned. “According to Eber, he walked in the morning after Neil got out of jail to find the kitchen destroyed almost as if an earthquake had struck only that room… then he found Brad’s shirt on the floor and coined the phrase ‘kitchen nookie’ after which time, Cheeks showed up at my place since he left his wallet at Neil’s when he ran away. We went to Adam’s, Neil showed up to bring Adam the wallet to give back, they started fighting over whose fault it was they got walked in on the morning after, and it ended with them staring each other down before snapping and eating each other in front of all of us. It was horrible. Cheeks was hanging off of Neil like a face-eating monkey and Neil’s hands were in places I never wanted to think of Neil’s hands going. Adam was still living the delusion that baby brother’s don’t have dicks so he was scarred for life to see them stumbling around groping. He still hasn’t recovered I don’t think.”

Raja hummed. “Well shit, Neil likes dudes. I never expected that,” he said, and Tommy snorted.

“It’s _Cheeks_! He’s fucking pretty,” he said, grinning. “You just have to be open to new ideas to have that work. I mean… anybody with the idea that ‘huh guys might be nice’ would probably start with a hot little dude like him. Beard or not, he’s got the prettiest face.”

“But you have a pretty face too!” Raja said, smirking. “I think you’re cuter.”

Tommy struck a pose. “Aww, baby, I love you the most,” he said, blowing a kiss across the table.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Adam just groaned as Tommy put in the first film. “It is amazing with friends like you two that I have any other friends left,” he said, then tipped his head back to look up at Sauli from his position laid along the couch between Sauli’s legs with Sauli lounged against the arm, his head and shoulders resting against Sauli’s chest as he nearly laid flat. “I’m lucky as hell I met you, nobody else would put up with their boyfriend having asshole friends,” he said, and Sauli laughed, petting Adam’s hair soothingly.

“I’m Finnish, we like our crazy,” he said, and Adam smiled, then turned to glare at Sutan, who was staring at Tommy’s ass as he bent over to put in the DVD.

“Eyes in your head, bitch,” Adam said and Sutan pouted but ducked his head in shame.

They all heard the door open and shut as somebody let themselves in. Adam snorted. “I’m so glad I gave people keys to my house,” he said dryly. “What the fuck was I thinking?!”

“Whew!” Brad announced as he came walking in. “Sorry I’m late guys, lost track of time, forgot it was Tuesday night,” he said, going to flop down beside Sutan sighing.

Sutan shot him an amused look. “Forgot it was Tuesday? Damn boy, did you not get out of bed at all in the last week and a half?” he asked.

Brad smirked. “Of course I did, I had things to do, as did Neil. We just didn’t have any reason to get out of bed the last two days,” he said, giggling when Adam made a horrified sound.

“No, ew, make it stop, make it stop!” he whined, pouting.

Sauli chuckled and pressed his hands over Adam’s ears for him. “That better?” he asked loudly and Adam nodded slightly.

“You really are the best, thanks!” he said loudly, humming to cover any conversation that might break the barrier of his boyfriend’s hands over his ears.

Tommy ran over and flopped down across Sutan’s lap. “So Cheeks! You and Neil still fucking?” he asked.

Cheeks smirked. “Straight boys are fun in bed. And hot _damn_ that man is strong! I think we’ve fucked against every vertical surface in his apartment and half the ones in mine and he NEVER seems too tired to hold me up against the wall.”

Tommy snickered. “I’ve never managed that one, for obvious reasons,” he said, and Sutan laughed.

“Same reason no dude’s ever fucked me against the wall… I’m too heavy to be held up that long and you’re too small to pick your girls up.”

Cheeks held up a hand. “I’ve dated some manly men before and none of them were as strong as Neil seems to be. To be sorta squishy and not have any defined muscles, the man is strong. And to be straight, holy shit he’s amazing,” he said, sighing. “I couldn’t sit straight for two days after that first night. I hadn’t gotten any in so long and he had me against the refrigerator door so hard and fast the Maytag man probably felt it,” he said, and Tommy nearly choked on his own spit he laughed so hard.

Sutan snickered. “Since he isn’t listening so it isn’t as creepy,” he started, then smirked at Cheeks. “Sibling comparison?”

Cheeks hummed. “Youth has its advantages,” he said, smirking. “But in all honestly, not a fair comparison, that was a long time ago, it was different, I was younger, so much different compared to Neil. He’s younger, and stronger, and more recent. AND it’s mostly just sex, sex, sex. I’m not sure we’ve had an actual conversation since the first night we fucked,” he pointed out. “Hopefully the sex hasn’t ruined our friendship. He’s a really smart, sweet guy.”

Tommy giggled. “He calls you beautiful, dude. It’s more than just a fuck, trust me.” He looked up. “Ooh, the movie’s starting!” he said, then turned to throw a pillow at Adam, who had his eyes shut, humming while Sauli covered his ears. “DICK FACE WE’RE WATCHING THE MOVIE!” he shouted and Sauli shot him a look as he uncovered Adam’s ears.

“Don’t call him dick face,” he said, and Adam smirked.

“Ha, my boyfriend is awesome and gets pissed at my friends being jerks,” he said, and Sauli thumped his ears. “Ow, what?!”

Sauli smiled. “Don’t call him a jerk either,” he said, then kissed the top of Adam’s head when he twisted to pout up at him. “Name calling is rude, no matter how cute you are.”

Sutan grinned. “Aww, TommyJoe do you think if Brad’s Lambert was here he’d tell you not to call each other names?” he asked, and Tommy snorted.

“No, he’d call Brad a dick face with me,” he said, and Brad grinned.

“Hell yeah, I think I’ve called him a chicken fucker about four times today because he was being an asshole,” he said, and Sutan rolled his eyes.

“You are an old married couple and you’ve only been fucking a week and a half,” he said, and Adam made a distressed sound. “Sorry, sorry, we’re shutting up now!” he promised and Adam glared at them pointedly.

“You better.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Every few minutes Cheeks kicked Tommy, who was snoring from his spot using Sutan’s lap as a pillow, but it never helped. “Holy God, how do you guys live on TOUR with this?!” he asked, pointing at Tommy. “He’s sawing enough logs to build a fucking cabin, dude,” he said, and Adam giggled.

“I don’t know, I don’t sleep with him,” he said, and Sauli chortled.

“You better not,” he said, holding Adam’s head in his lap as they watched the movie.

Sutan shushed them all. “Shut up, Tommy’s sleeping,” he said, stroking his hair tenderly. “He can’t sleep well so any sleep he gets is good,” he said, then reached over to thump Cheeks, who gasped and glared. “And it’s the position he’s in, he usually sleeps like a kitten, all curled up in a ball.”

Cheeks smirked. “And how do you know that, Cougar?” he asked and Sutan glowered at Adam, who smirked evilly and giggled.

“Not a word-“

“Sutan’s watched Tommy sleep all night once,” he said, grinning. “He was drunk as hell, but he sat there for about four hours watching Tommy sleeping and telling us all about how pretty Tommy’s makeup was. We thought he was being a narcissist since he had done the makeup, but now I know it’s his hopelessly in love side.”

Sutan glowered. “Hush, he might wake up!” he said, petting Tommy’s hair absently. “And stop teasing me! I didn’t tease you about your straight boy!” he accused.

Brad stared blankly. “Actually, yeah, you did. A lot. All three of you teased me about cuddling with Neil-“

“Yeah, but you denied it, it doesn’t count, I don’t deny that I have fantasies about being Mrs. Tommy Ratliff, SPOILER ALERT- you’re not one of my bridesmaids,” he hissed viciously.

Sauli just laughed. “Have I mentioned how much I love your friends, Adam?” he asked, and Adam groaned.

“Thank you for not judging me based on who I hang around,” he said with wide, grateful eyes up at Sauli.

Sutan snorted. “Fuck off, you love us blondie. Don’t lie,” he said, and Sauli winked at him with a bright smile.

“Mmmmm, huh?” Sutan froze as Tommy shifted, mumbling. He blinked sleepily up at Sutan, showing him those big brown eyes, before smiling sleepily and rolling over to pressed his face against Sutan’s shirt as he fell back asleep, snoring again instantly.

“Gah, why’s he so adorable?” Sutan whined and Brad rolled his eyes.

“Oh my God, the man is drooling on your pants, how is that adorable?!” he asked in exasperation.

Sutan just poked him. “Shut up, he’s even cute when he’s drooling-“

“Okay, that is just pathetic-“

“SHUT UP AND LET HIM SLEEP!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Sutan snickered as he watched Cheeks glaring from the counter, where he’d taken his water back since the glass was dirty, while he sat at a table with Neil, who was chatting with the girl who was taking his order, smiling brightly at her. “Yeah, you really can tell that he’s just so-“

“Alright, sister,” Cheeks said, setting down his drink before sliding between the girl and Neil to flop into Neil’s lap pointedly, giving her a narrow eyed look. “This one’s mine, get your own slut,” he said, blowing her a kiss as she gaped, clearly offended, then stomped off without taking their order.

Neil glared and shoved Cheeks off of his lap into the booth beside him. “What the fuck?! Why were you a total bi-“ He was silenced by a finger to his lips.

“Before you finish that sentence, dear, remember what you _won’t_ be getting if you say what I think you almost accidentally said,” he stressed, smirking sarcastically at Neil.

Neil growled, then sighed. “Why are you so mean to every woman anywhere we go-“

“Because they’re all out to get you!” he hissed, eyes a bit crazy. “Jesus Christ, before we started fucking you couldn’t have _paid_ a girl to want you-“ Neil started to retort but Cheeks didn’t give him time. “But now every single one is trying to sleep with you! EVERY. SINGLE. ONE!” he said shrilly. “Jesus Christ, I think girls hate me. They hate gay boys like me and they try and steal our straight boys RIGHT after we’ve converted them!” he said in a rush.

Sutan just blinked. “Ever considered decaf, huh?” he asked, and Neil snickered, hiding it when Brad glowered at him.

“Brad,” Neil said, biting back a laugh. “Bradley-“

“Don’t _do_ that,” Cheeks whined and Neil slid his arm around Brad’s shoulders, pulling him into his side.

“Brad, even if I hated your guts for real and not just some of the time, you’re the best fuck I’ve had in a long time, I’m not stupid,” he said, and Cheeks gave him an adoring look.

“Aww, you say the sweetest things,” he said and Sutan just raised an eyebrow curiously.

“Wow, your love is like a motherfuckin’ river, alright,” he said, and they both shot him annoyed looks. “Jesus Christ, you two are like an old married couple!” he said, shuddering before making a finger-cross in their direction.

“Well now, what the hell is going on here?” Tommy asked, sliding into the booth beside Sutan, who was still making his finger-cross and eyeing them suspiciously. “Vampires?” he asked and Sutan frowned, dropping his hands to give Tommy a ‘what the fuck?’ look. Tommy shrugged. “Hey, valid assumption-“

“Only this is real life,” Neil pointed out. “You realize that, right, Tommy? Vampires don’t exist.”

Tommy smirked. “Why do you think I’m so sexy at my advanced age?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sutan smirked. “Gonna bite me? Make me immortally pretty?” he asked, offering his neck.

Tommy giggled. “Fuck yeah, dude! You’d be the best partner in crime ever,” he said, smacking a kiss to Sutan’s cheek. “So, what’s for eats?” he asked, snagging the diner menu from the table. “Grease, lard, and more grease! Yum,” he said convincingly. He heard a strange slurp and lowered his menu a bit only to have his eyes widen in horror at the sight of Neil sucking on Brad’s tongue right there across the table.

Sutan nudged him. “Just hide behind the menu and you can pretend it isn’t happening,” he mumbled and Tommy lifted his menu, shuddering as he turned to look at Sutan, who was doing the same.

“So, what are you having for dinner?” he asked enthusiastically and Sutan laughed.

“Well it won’t stay down long with this going on, so anything since it won’t be in long enough to go to my thighs,” he said and Tommy rolled his eyes.

“You’re hot, stop worrying about getting fat,” he said only to jump when he felt something brush his knee. “HEY!” he slammed down the menu, scaring Neil and Cheeks apart. “Whoever is playing handsy under the table, THAT WAS ME!” he said, looking horrified.

Cheeks smirked. “Well, that was my foot anyways, my legs are across his lap now,” he said, lifting his knee between the table and Neil to show. “My hands are… other places,” he said, and Sutan groaned.

“Tommy make them stop,” he begged, pouting at him.

Tommy grinned. “Work with me,” he said, then grabbed Sutan’s head, tugging him into a kiss. Sutan squeaked but caught himself from falling onto Tommy by grabbing the table and the back of the booth, groaning into the kiss.

“EW!” Neil said, horrified. “Oh my God what is that?!”

Tommy moaned high and dramatic, making the kiss deep and thorough and sloppy. Sutan just went with it, heart fluttering as Tommy tugged him closer, lapping into his mouth with an obnoxious yet undeniably hot slurp. “Oh my God, please stop! I get it, I get it!” Cheeks begged, and Tommy pulled away with a pop, smirking over at them.

“Exactly,” he said, and Sutan sat back, eyes wide in shock as he looked ahead without really seeing.

Cheeks snickered, smirking. “I think you broke him,” he said, and Tommy grinned, smacking Sutan’s cheek.

“Sorry, dude, I had to,” he said, giggling as Sutan wiped at his mouth, getting rid of Tommy’s lip gloss.

“Not that you’re not hot, TommyJoe, but warning would help,” he said, ducking his eyes as he saw Cheeks smirking knowingly. “Fuck you Bradley-“

“Hey, don’t use my full name-“

“Can I call you Bradley-“

“NO, Tommy you cannot call me-“

“Can I still call you Bradley-“

“NEIL!” Cheeks huffed, then glared at them in turn. “Sutan, no! Tommy, hell no!” he said, then turned to Neil, who pouting playfully. He sighed. “Only when we’re alone,” he said, and Neil grinned.

“I thought you wanted me to call you Senor Sexypants when we’re alone-“

“NEIL!” he squeaked, then glared. “I hate you so hard. I really do. I hate you so very hard,” he said and Neil smirked. “I like your dick, but hate you so hard,” he clarified, huffing as he crossed his arms and turned away.

Neil just kissed his cheek with a grin. “Not what you said this morning-“

“I was talking to your penis, not you,” he argued and Tommy snickered.

“Talking to penises, that’s not a sign of insanity at all!” he said facetiously, earning a glare from Brad that could probably light something on fire.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tommy walked over to Sutan and handed him his drink, sitting beside him. “I think we’re the only single bitches at this party,” he said, and Sutan looked around, raising an eyebrow at all the couples there.

“Wow, really now,” he said, glancing to see where Adam, their lovely host, had disappeared to. “How is it we’re the only single people here?” he asked, pouting as he downed his drink. “Shit.”

Tommy smirked, eyes a little unfocused due to all the alcohol he’d consumed so far. “Fuck that shit, c’mere,” he said, tugging Sutan closer. “We can pretend,” he said, and Sutan grinned, kissing his cheek with a smack. “So, lady, you come here often?” he teased, winking.

Sutan snorted. “Well, I haven’t shaved in three days so I’m not much of a ‘lady’ and yeah, it’s one of my best friends’ house… you know, you come here often too,” he pointed out.

Tommy shushed him. “Pretend!”

Sutan grinned. “Well, we should at least hold hands if we’re pretending to be a couple,” he said, grabbing Tommy’s hand. Tommy shook his free and grinned.

“Nah, c’mere,” he said, curling his arm around Sutan’s waist. “See? Possessive,” he said, smirking at the person walking past.

Sutan snorted and laughed. “So you’re a possessive boyfriend?” he asked, and Tommy nodded brightly.

“Oh yeah, my Sutan is mine,” he said, cuddling into his side. He looked up with a devious look suddenly. “LET’S DANCE!” he announced, then downed his drink, grabbing Sutan out of his seat to drag out to the middle of the floor, where absolutely NOBODY else was dancing. Tommy giggled like crazy when Sutan tugged him back against him, grinding on him as they danced as filthy as they could, laughing when other people joined in, all of them more than a little drunk, dancing dirty to the background music that was barely even audible over the general sounds of a party.

When Adam finally started kicking everybody’s drunk ass out, Tommy and Sutan decided to share a cab back to Tommy’s place. They stumbled inside together, arms around each other for balance. “TommyJoe, I’m fucked,” Sutan said, falling out of Tommy’s arms onto the couch.

Tommy fell on top of him and sighed, head falling to Sutan’s chest. “Mmmm something I haven’t been in a long time,” he said, and Sutan giggled.

“Me either babycakes. I’ve been so busy I can’t pick up boys. And, you know, there’s that whole ‘trying to find a guy’ thing. It’s sad, I’m getting old,” he said, pouting.

Tommy snorted. “My last girl left me hanging. We weren’t dating, just… I don’t know, fucking around? We weren’t even really friends, we were more fuck buddies than friends with benefits,” he said, then shrugged, wiggling around until his face was tucked into Sutan’s neck, his legs slotted around Sutan’s. “She got me sorta hooked on being fucked and then ditched me. For another woman,” he said, scoffing.

Sutan frowned. “Wait, huh?” he asked and Tommy giggled, curling his hand in Sutan’s shirt.

“You know, pegging,” he said, and Sutan did a half of a full body twitch, held down by Tommy’s weight enough to keep it from being a jump.

“Whoa, whoa, WHAT?” he asked, cheeks heating. “I- you- huh?” he asked, trying to wrap his head around the words Tommy was telling him.

Tommy snorted. “What, girls can’t have fun fucking boys too?” he asked, sighing. “It’s so hard to find a chick who is willing to fuck you,” he said, sighing. “Strap-on or not, I just really want something in me and she left me.” He wiggled, humming. “You’re pointy and weird,” he said, trying to not have ribs or hips or elbows jamming him. “Hey, what’s that?” he asked, wiggling, only to have Sutan squeak and blush as much as his skin allowed. Tommy blinked, then smirked. “Well now,” he said, and Sutan whined, trying to push Tommy off. “No, wait,” Tommy shifted, lifting up on his elbows to look down at Sutan with a grin. “Talking about pegging gets you hot?” he asked and Sutan sighed.

“God I hate you,” he said, then shoved at Tommy. “You’re pretty and you’re talking about being ass fucked, why wouldn’t it get me hot? And I’m under you,” he pointed out.

Tommy smirked. “Hmmm, you like the idea of me being fucked?” he asked, looking down at him with a sly look. “You seem like you’d have a toppy streak in there,” he said in a low voice, biting his lip as he glanced down at Sutan’s lips.

Sutan raised an eyebrow as his heart fluttered, limbs suddenly feeling heavy partly from the alcohol coursing through his veins and partly from the heat in Tommy’s gaze. “Um… huh?” he asked blankly and Tommy slid his hand to Sutan’s hip to shift himself, fingertips grazing Sutan’s skin as he leaned down and kissed him. Sutan whimpered against his lips, mouth opening for Tommy, only to have his pull back, sitting up, shoving Tommy. “No, really, don’t tease, I can’t handle it right now,” he said in a pained voice, but Tommy stopped him, arms going around his neck.

“So not teasing,” he said thickly, leaning in to kiss him again, sucking Sutan’s bottom lip between his teeth.

Sutan moaned, fisting his hands in Tommy’s shirt. “Kissing me is teasing when you’ve got me hard talking about fucking,” he groaned, unable to stop kissing him for more than a few words.

Tommy shook his head, grunting as he shifted to fully straddle Sutan, sneaking his fingers up Sutan’s shirt. “Not if I want you to fuck me,” he gasped out, lips kissing down to Sutan’s jaw, biting at his skin sharply.

Sutan whined. “Who said I want to fuck you?” he asked, and Tommy chuckled and wiggled on Sutan’s lap, making him groan at the friction in his jeans. “Oh yeah, that.”

Tommy smirked as he pulled back. “Yeah,” he said, then scrambled off Sutan, tugging his hands. “C’mon, bed,” he said, and Sutan couldn’t think of a reason to say no in his lust-addled brain. He got up and kissed Tommy immediately, both of them stumbling to Tommy’s bedroom, nearly falling down three times before they finally fell into a pile on Tommy’s bed, tugging at each other’s clothes desperately. “Sutan, oh fuck,” he moaned, whining as he was pinned down and Sutan tugged his shirt off before attacking his pants, pulling Tommy’s hips clear off the bed as he ripped his belt from the loops, causing a loud ‘crack’ when it pulled free.

Tommy moaned. “Jesus fuck, need it,” he whined, shoving at his jeans as Sutan rid himself of his own clothes. He scrambled across the bed and ducked over the side, tugging something from under the edge, before coming back up, only to stare as he found Sutan kneeling, totally naked, watching him as he stroked himself slowly. “Fuck,” Tommy groaned, then knelt up, closing the gap between them to kiss Sutan.

Sutan groaned and pushed him onto his back, lying on top of him. “Don’t do this very often,” he said and Tommy hummed questioningly, not willing to stop kissing Sutan. “Top,” he said between kisses.

Tommy just grunted. “S’not hard,” he said, then giggled. “Well, hopefully its _hard_ -“

Sutan grinned. “Oh yeah, definitely hard,” he said, thrusting against Tommy’s thigh to demonstrate. He grunted and tapped Tommy’s thigh. “How you want it?” he asked and Tommy moaned.

“However you want me,” he said, then smirked. “Tummy, back, knees, side, I’m down with whatever, just don’t try anything too freaky, I’m not the bendiest,” he said, winking”

Sutan giggled, kissing him with a smack. “Bendiest isn’t a word,” he said, smiling down at Tommy, who was so _beautiful_ beneath him. “Wanna look at you,” he said softly, kissing him again, harder and deeper. “So pretty.”

Tommy grunted, catching the hand carding through his hair. He turned and sucked Sutan’s thumb into his mouth, making Sutan’s eyes go wide. “Want your fingers. So long and pretty. Want them in me, please,” he all but begged, eyes nearly black with want. “Please, baby, please.”

Sutan just tugged his hand free reluctantly and scrabbled for the lube frantically, frustrated at his drunken clumsiness as he tried to untwist the top. He moaned when it opened and drizzled some on his fingers, groaning when he glanced up while spreading it around to see Tommy spreading his legs wide, knees up on either side of Sutan, stroking at his erection lazily was he watched Sutan’s hands longingly. “Gonna fuck you so good,” he groaned, moving quickly. He looked down and groaned as he teasingly pressed his fingers to Tommy’s entrance, biting his lip at the way Tommy’s breath stuttered in anticipation. He teased him, not pressing in, growing more turned on than ever at the way his teasing rubs made Tommy’s body twitch.

“Please, please, in me,” Tommy whined and Sutan granted his request, slowly pressing one finger into Tommy, who moaned happily. Sutan looked down, eyes wide as he watched his finger disappearing into Tommy’s willing body. He couldn’t believe he was actually fingering Tommy Joe Ratliff. He was _inside_ Tommy. He looked up at Tommy, and bit his lip eagerly as he crooked his finger. His lip slipped free with an added gasp as Tommy tensed and cried out sharply at the stimulation. “There, more, please!”

Sutan wasted no time adding more fingers, shocked at how readily Tommy’s body accepted the digits. “Fuck,” he grunted, watching Tommy’s flushed face as he fucked him with three fingers, getting his spot every time just to watch him writhe.

“Could come from this,” Tommy groaned, panting.

Sutan’s jaw dropped. “Have you?” he asked, hoping more than anything Tommy would say yes while he pictured Tommy coming just from his fingers

Tommy nodded, whining. “Please, fuck me, oh God I want you to fuck me!” he babbled and Sutan nodded, pulling his fingers free with the promise of more soon.

“Just hang on, I’m going,” Sutan said, rushing to roll on the condom, whining at how his slick fingers made the task harder. Once he was slicked, he wasted no time, tugged Tommy’s hips to him, looking up at him one last time. “You sure? You sure you want me to-“

“Fuck me!” Tommy growled and Sutan wasted no time, filling him in one smooth stroke, as he’d spent plenty of time getting Tommy ready. “AH!” Tommy cried out, gritting his teeth a bit before wiggling. “Fuck me, please.”

Sutan groaned as he did what he was asked. He started thrusting slowly, only to give up that approach when Tommy demanded ‘harder!’ in his most masculine tone. It had been so long he had forgot how much fun it was to pin somebody down and fuck them. He as more of a bottom, but he enjoyed pinning a boy down and fucking him until he could barely speak every once in a while.

Tommy, however, didn’t shut up. “Yeah baby, oh God yeah, oh fuck, harder- Yeah!” he babbled, moaning, head tossed back as he writhed in pleasure. He caught Sutan’s lips, kissing him as fierce as their fucking. “Gonna come, need to come, oh fuck, baby, baby!” he cried, voice growing tighter.

Sutan whined at the heady feeling of having _Tommy_ under him, _Tommy_ surrounding him, his beautiful, amazing, perfect friend that he was in love with crying out for him. “God, TommyJoe, oh God!” he groaned, clutching Tommy’s hips harder, nails digging in as he saw Tommy stroking himself frantically. “Baby, oh fuck.”

Tommy suddenly whined then arched his back. “Fuck, fuck, I’m coming, I’m coming I-“ he cried out, back arching as he came _hard_ , clenching around Sutan.

“Tommy!” Sutan cried out, thrusting desperately, trying to reach his end, only to freeze, going almost silent as he came buried deep in Tommy, body taught as he came.

Sutan collapsed beside Tommy, both of them panting as they fought to breathe again. Sutan barely had enough sense to take off the condom and drop it into the trashcan near the bed before he rolled over, slinging an arm across Tommy, and gave in to the sleep his drunken, satisfied, exhausted body demanded.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
When Sutan woke up, he became aware of three things immediately. First off, his whole life was _hell_ and everything hurt and he needed to just die to make it stop. Second, he smelled like sex. And third, which he realized upon opening his eyes, he was passed out naked in Tommy’s bed, the little blonde curled up naked on the other side, dead to the world. He sat up quickly, gasping in horror, only to have his stomach lurch as everything tilted and he fell out of the bed, landing on the floor with a painful thud.

He crawled shakily to the bathroom, where he emptied the contents of his stomach multiple times. He pulled himself up at the sink and drank straight from the tap a few times before using half the mouthwash under the cabinet. He did his best at washing off the dried come all over from him and Tommy curling up without cleaning up, and then stumbled out, trying to gather his clothes as quickly as possible without waking up Tommy.

Once he was dressed, he let himself out, wincing at the sun as he stumbled down to the sidewalk and started walking, too dazed and hung over to think of anything other than getting to the main street and finding a cab or the nearest bus stop.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Sutan couldn’t believe what he had done. He couldn’t believe he’d gone and fucked up like that. Tommy was his _friend_ , one of his best friends, and he had gone and slept with him. Tommy was going to hate him. Tommy was straight and he’d been hammered and now everything was going to be messed up between them. As he sat at the corner, waiting on the bus, he texted Brad, the only person he thought he could expect to understand his panic.

 _fucked tommy. life over. help?_

He waited a few minutes, hoping Cheeks understood and listened, still watching as the bus _didn’t come_. When his phone buzzed, looked and cringed.

 _??????! at adams come here NOW! mean it._

Sutan took a shaky breath and sighed as he considered going only to have another text come though.

 _don’t you dare think about not showing!_ the text from Cheeks read. He shook his head and pocketed his phone, very amused.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
When Sutan got to Adam’s Adam let him in, looking about how Sutan felt. “Shit, what’s up this early?” he asked, and Sutan groaned.

“Need to talk to Brad is all,” he said, and Adam frowned.

“Cheeks isn’t here, just me and Sauli-“

“I’m here, I’m here,” Brad called, skipping down the stairs quickly. “YOU!” he said, grabbing Sutan as he rushed up.

Adam just frowned. “Why are you here?” he asked suspiciously. “I locked up after everybody left thinking it was just me and Sauli.”

Brad smirked. “Your brother’s asleep naked in your guest room,” he said, winking and Adam gaped, horrified. “Come on, Sutan!” he squeaked, dragging him to the kitchen, shoving the coffee carafe at Sutan, who poured himself a cup, grateful to have something to help with his head. “So spill!”

Sutan groaned, shaking his head. “I can’t,” he said softly, turning to walk out to the living room with his mug. Cheeks frowned and jumped up, rushing past Adam, who was still staring at the stairs in horror, into the living room to sit beside Sutan.

“Sutan?” he asked, reaching out to put a hand on his arm as he with his knees to his chest, curled around his coffee. “Sutan, what happened?” he asked, staring helplessly at the lost look on his friend’s face.

“We were really drunk,” he started and Cheeks snorted.

“Hell yeah you were, I’m shocked you guys were able to walk,” he said, and Sutan groaned, rubbing a hand through his hair. “So, you fucked?” he asked straight out.

Sutan cringed. “We were just cuddling, really,” he started and Cheeks grinned.

“So that’s what the kids are calling it nowadays,” he said, and Sutan glowered.

“We were curled on the couch and he was laying on my chest and cuddling me and then he started talking about- about-“ He flushed. “About being into pegging and how much he missed his fuck buddy he used to have that liked to fuck him with a strap-on-“

“Wow, that’s way more than I needed to know about Tommy’s sex life,” Cheeks interrupted, then frowned. “Although… that is… oddly hot,” he said, tilting his head as he imagined it.

“Exactly,” Sutan said, then sighed. “Well, I got hard, he felt it, there was giggling, then there was kissing, then there was groping, then suddenly there was ‘you should fuck me!’ and then there was a bed and no clothes and nakedness and sex,” he said in a rush.

Cheeks smirked. “So when you say ‘I fucked Tommy’ you actually fucked him?” Sutan nodded. “Well now, straight boy likes it up the butt, that’s shocking!” He grinned. “So, what’s the problem?” he asked.

Sutan whined. “It was drunken fucking. It was _wrong_ , he probably didn’t know what the hell he was doing- I barely knew what I was doing!” he added. “I fucked my straight friend. Nothing is okay with that,” he stressed. He tugged at his hair. “Jesus Christ, I’m in love with him, Brad, why did I fuck him?” he asked, voice cracking.

Cheeks frowned. “Wait, you’re _what_?” he asked and Sutan nodded, eyes glassy. “You really love him?” he asked, petting his knee. Sutan nodded, choking out a breath as he fought to not cry. “Shit, okay, well… maybe it isn’t that bad?” he offered, hugging him.

“I left. I woke up before he did and left,” he whimpered, head leaned against Cheeks. “He’ll hate me now. I ended up taking advantage of him being too drunk to care I’m a boy and he’s straight and I’m a bad friend and I _love_ him,” he cried, sniffling as he tucked his face into Cheek’s shoulder, letting him hug him closer.

“Hey guys- what’s wrong?” They both turned to look as Sauli came in, hair standing up as he shuffled towards them. “You alright?” he asked Sutan, who nodded weakly, wiping at his cheeks. “Hey, don’t cry,” he said, sitting on his other side. “What’s wrong?”

Sutan sniffled. “I don’t want to bother you,” he said, and Sauli shook his head.

“Nonsense, we’re friends.” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Tell me all about it,” he said, and Sutan laughed softly.

“I’m not sure I want to talk anymore,” he said apologetically.

Cheeks just cringed. “Shit, Sutan, that’s fucked,” he said, pouting with Sutan.

“What is?” Neil asked, stumbling in, tugging his shirt straight while Adam followed him, glaring. “Also, thanks for telling me that Adam knew we were staying the night, it’s great to wake up naked with your brother screaming at you,” he said, and Cheeks tilted his head back for a kiss when Neil sat down behind him.

“You would’ve took me home and not spent the night with me, I like you spending the night,” he said, giving him a smirk.

Sauli smirked. “Don’t worry about Adam, he just likes to pretend Neil is imaginary,” he said, and Neil huffed.

“Asshole. I’m his brother. He can’t think I’m imaginary.” He smirked at Sutan. “Am I imaginary?” he asked, and Sutan grinned.

“Not if the details of your sex life I’ve heard from Cheeks are anything to go by,” he said, and Neil glared at Cheeks, who huffed.

“Whatever, we’re talking about Sutan’s sex life now, not yours,” he said and Sutan whined.

Neil smirked. “Oooh, this should be good,” he said, and Sutan glowered at him before shoving Cheeks some.

“I told you because you have some insight into straight boys! I don’t want them to know!” Sutan hissed and Cheeks shrugged.

“My straight boy ended up not being so straight,” he said apologetically. “I’m sorry babe. You should ask Adam, he always had a problem falling for straight guys,” he said, then looked at Sauli with joking suspicion. “Waaaiit a minute,” he started and Sauli held up his hands.

“Gay as gay gets. I may as well be sneezing glitter and pissing rainbows,” he said, and Cheeks grinned.

“Ah, that’s the way life should be spent,” he said in mock delight. “But really Sutan, I’m sorry for you. I hope things work out,” he said, pouting at him.

Sutan cringed. “I’m leaving tomorrow anyways. I’ll be gone for six weeks. Maybe when I get back we can do the whole ‘never happened’ thing?” he said softly.

Cheeks just held his hand, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry sweetie.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Neil and Cheeks were climbing out of Neil’s car just as Tommy came walking up. Neil glanced and saw a cab driving off just as Tommy spotted them with a grin. “I think I see you more now than ever before,” Tommy said and Neil grumbled.

“I think I’ve spent more time at my brother’s place since I started sleeping with his ex than ever before, which really shouldn’t pan out that way,” he said, and Cheeks cleared his throat, arms crossed. “What?”

“First off, ‘his ex’ has a name, you shout it enough in bed to use it in every day conversation,” he said with a glare. “And I spent my early twenties as a stereotypical twink, I’m pretty sure all my friends are exes in some way, so stop acting like it’s weird. You’re just too straight to get that I hang out with your brother because he’s my friend and the fact we know what each other is like in bed has no bearing on our friendship. There is no awkward there,” he said, and Tommy shuddered slightly, cringing at the thought.

Neil rolled his eyes. “Difference in sleeping with someone and knowing that at some point in the past, I expected you to end up being my brother-in-law in the future,” he said, cringing. “That’s the awkward, dude. Seriously awkward,” he said.

Cheeks shrugged. “You guys hated each other enough back then I barely remember seeing you,” he said then snagged his hand. “So I didn’t have that problem, you’re just my cutie patootie without any memories of sibling-in-lawness,” he said, standing on his toes to kiss his cheek.

Neil made a face. “I still hate him, I hate him a lot-“

Tommy cut him off with a slap on the back. “Do not, you love your big brother, don’t joke. I saw your loser blogs telling people to fuck off about your bro when it got out he was gay and people were mean about it,” he said and Neil rolled his eyes.

“Because I’m allowed to hate him, not other people,” he said, then followed Tommy up towards the house, ignoring the way Cheeks clung to his arm with a sunny expression. “It’s like… I can call him a douchewad fuck faced homo, but if somebody else calls him any of those things, it’s my fraternal obligation to find something in their past and burn them on my website,” he said.

Tommy snorted. “If anybody ever called Adam a douchewad, a fuck-face, or ESPECIALLY a ‘homo’, I’d just kick their teeth in,” he said, shrugging as he opened the door with his key.

“Who’s getting their teeth kicked in?” Adam asked, standing right on the other side of the door. Tommy jumped in shock and Adam snickered. “I heard dickface and asshat over here pull up and came to open the door for them,” he said, walking with everybody to the living room. “My it’s nice of everybody to visit at once,” he said, and Neil grinned when he saw Eber sitting in the arm chair, talking to Sauli about what appeared to be the rules of football if the paused TV was anything to go by.

“Dad! I didn’t know you were back in town,” he said, and Eber looked up and smirked in a way that Tommy and Brad both had come to associate with ‘Lambert’.

“Yeah well I didn’t come back to hang out with you, I came to hang out with my favorite son-in-law,” he said, slapping Sauli on the back.

Adam cringed. “Dad, we’re not married, not getting married, and not _able_ to get married. Please just…stop. It’s really awkward,” he said, and Sauli laughed.

“I think he doesn’t think you get a say in that,” he said, and Adam sat beside him, catching his hand. “Don’t worry Neil, I’m not mean, rude, and sarcastic enough to replace you,” he said, and Neil grinned.

“I like this one, keep him,” he said to Adam, who glared daggers at both Neil and his Dad for putting him on the spot.

Eber grinned as Cheeks sat down practically in Neil’s lap, leaving room for Tommy beside them. “Why Bradley! It’s great to see you fully clothed,” he said, and Neil and Cheeks both turned bright red, though Tommy doubled over giggling.

“I love you, Eber. I love you so much. Will you adopt me, please?” he begged through his laughter.

Eber smiled. “Well for a while I figured you would be my favorite son-in-law but I didn’t get my wish granted,” he said, then looked at Sauli. “Although you are a very worthy replacement, don’t think I like him better,” he said and Sauli laughed.

“Trust me, if Tommy couldn’t go for somebody as sweet as your son, there was never any hope of him being with a man at all,” he said, winking at Adam, who ducked his head bashfully.

Cheeks suddenly jumped, then shot Tommy a look. “Oh yeah! You! We need to talk, mister!” he said, giving him ‘the eyes’. “Soon, my friend, very soon.”

Tommy fidgeted, not meeting anybody’s eyes. “Um, so… anybody heard from or seen Sutan lately?” he asked, and Adam and Sauli exchanged confused looks before looking over at Neil, who shrugged and Cheeks, who was glowering at Tommy.

Adam spoke up, confused by the awkwardness. “He left for another tour, he didn’t tell you?” he asked. “You two have been all BFF lately, you haven’t talked since he left? It’s been several days?” he asked in surprise.

Tommy cringed. “Uh… we um… well we said some things…” He took a breath and sighed. “We’re not speaking right now sorta? I don’t know, he just… ran off the morning after your party-“

Sauli gasped, hand covering his mouth. “OH!” he cried, then blushed when everybody looked at him. “Um, sorry, nothing,” he said, looking down pointedly.

Cheeks just poked Tommy and narrowed his eyes. “And you know _why_ ,” he said, and Tommy suddenly paled as he looked at Cheeks.

“You- he- you-“ He suddenly looked up at Sauli. “Oh my God, you too?!” he asked, then jumped up and stormed out, white and shaky.

Adam jumped up and went after him in concern. “Tommy? TommyJoe?” he called, frowning when Tommy ran into the hall bathroom and locked the door. “Tommy? You okay?” he asked, knocking lightly. “TommyJoe, you okay baby- AHH!” Adam yelped when the door opened and Tommy grabbed his shirt, dragging him in only to shut and lock the door behind him. “What the hell?” he asked.

The bathroom wasn’t very large, but it wasn’t small. Tommy used the space to pace back and forth on the tiles, tugging at his hair nervously. “Adam- I- oh God,” he groaned, sliding to the floor, back against the wall.

“TOMMY?” Adam cried in alarm, sitting next to him. “Glitterbaby, what’s wrong?” he asked, cupping Tommy’s pale cheek in his hand to look at his eyes worriedly.

Tommy groaned. “Sutan hates me. He hates me and I don’t want him to hate me, he’s my friend, you know? He’s like… one of my closest friends. I have so much fun and we get each other and he’s like… the best guy ever and he _hates me_ ,” he whined softly. “I don’t know why! I mean, I know why, but I don’t- why was he upset? He just… he left and I freaked and he won’t talk to me and I’m soooo fucked up over it all and confused and things are weird in my head and I don’t get how I feel about it-“

“Whoa, baby, whoa,” Adam said, shushing him. He pulled Tommy into his chest, petting his hair as he slipped closer to a panic attack. “Breathe, breathe and tell me what’s up?” he said, kissing his hair.

Tommy clenched his eyes shut, fisting his hands in Adam’s shirt as he pressed his face into Adam’s chest. “We slept together,” he said, and Adam froze, hands stilling in his hair. “We were hammered after your party and we went back to my place and- and we were just snuggling, that’s all and- and we just… it happened,” he said softly.

Adam pulled back to look at him. “Baby, you’re straight… sex with a man doesn’t ‘just happen’ like that,” he said, and Tommy flushed.

“Okay so… my drunken mind maybe thought it was a good idea to talk about my kinky sex life and- and Sutan was sort… um… into it,” he said, rolling his eyes as his cheeks burned. “I felt that he was hard and like… I don’t know. It just… we did,” he said, shrugging.

Adam chuckled. “Straight my ass, huh?” he said, and Tommy groaned.

“I _am_ though! Well… mostly,” he amended, sighing. “Like, okay, you know I’m bendy, duh, I made out with you for six months and you got so up close and personal on stage you nearly owed my mom a goat for my virtue-“ Adam snorted and rolled his eyes. “But like… I do girls. I’m into girls. I’m down with some manlovin’ for fun but it isn’t like… I don’t meet guys and think ‘wow, I like him’, you know?”

Adam laughed. “Yeah, I get you, I’ve known you long enough,” he said, shifting so that he and Tommy were facing each other, legs crossed and knees touching. “So, what happened? No matter how drunk you are, you don’t do things you wouldn’t at least think about.”

Tommy cringed. “Okay so… I’m into- um-“ He looked down, scratching at his jeans. “Pegging, and like-“

“WHOA!” Adam cried, gaping. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, then flushed, ducking his eyes. “I didn’t need to know that, oh my God,” he said, putting his face in his hands. “Oh my God I’m so glad I didn’t know you were into being fucked by a girl when I was still crushing on you, baby, cause that’s sorta really hot to imagine,” he said, and Tommy cringed.

“Yeah, so Sutan thought so too,” he said, and Adam snorted.

“Of course he did, you’re his straight boy,” he said, sighing. “So… what? I still don’t get it,” he said. “How did that lead to sex?”

Tommy chuckled awkwardly. “So… you know how the whole ‘fucking a guy with a strap-on’ thing works? Not many girls seem to be into it,” he said, biting his lip. “And I hadn’t been fucked in a _really_ long time-“

Adam gaped. “Sutan fucked you?! SUTAN AMRULL, my tall, skinny, drag queen friend fucked you?” he asked in shock. “My brain has melted. It has seriously melted and-“ His face suddenly showed horror. “Oh God no, now I have it there. I see it. Sutan fucking you… oh God,” he said, eye twitching as he turned bright red and ducked his eyes bashfully. “Wow that’s really hot,” he admitted, and Tommy laughed genuinely.

“It really was. God the real thing is so much better than pegging,” he admitted, leaning against the wall. “My God, what did I do though? I slept with one of my best friends, Adam. I slept with him and fell asleep curled up with him but then woke up alone with no note or anything. He won’t talk to me and I don’t- I can’t decide what I feel about this all,” he said softly. “It was… something,” he said, cringing. “At the risk of turning into a teenaged girl… it wasn’t just sex,” he admitted, and Adam sighed, biting his lip.

“Tommy… if you use this information to hurt him, I’ll kill you,” he said earnestly and Tommy raised an eyebrow. Adam took a breath. “Tommy, he’s sort of in love with you,” he admitted and Tommy’s eyes widened as the blood drained from his face. “And I mean the kind where he imagines a fantasy wedding with him in a leopard print mini dress and you in a leather jacket,” he said with an apologetic look. “He probably hasn’t talked to you because he’s upset and hurt. I mean… he was down about being in love with a straight guy but then he went and slept with you, which had to be too real for him and I mean… he cares about your friendship so much,” he stressed. “He’s probably terrified you won’t be friends with him anymore and that would kill the poor guy.”

Tommy sighed. “And now he knows what it could be like and that makes it harder for him to ignore,” he finished and Adam nodded. “Well fuck,” he said, biting his lip. “God, I don’t… know,” he said weakly. “It was… it was something, Adam. Something different. Not just the whole ‘a man fucked me’ thing, but in the way that it wasn’t like sex usually is. It was more. It was easier almost.” He blushed. “We’re so… compatible. In every way. It wasn’t stressful like a hook up where you worry about making it work and not fucking up… it was so organic and natural and felt like we were _right_ and I don’t know what that means and it’s _fucked up_ to me.” He bit his lip and looked up, sad brown eyes meeting concerned blue ones. “And I’m scared. I’m scared because he’s one of my favorite people in the world and he won’t answer my calls and texts or reply to my tweets and it’s so _wrong_. I can’t lose him. He’s so important to me.”

Adam smiled sadly. “Baby… I could say something but it might scare you,” he said, reaching out to fix Tommy’s bangs.

Tommy shrugged. “If it could help I’m game.”

Adam took a breath and started. “Sauli was a hook-up. He was a random boy at a club and nothing more. You were there, you know I met him in the VIP lounge and disappeared, came back the next day. No number, no intention of keeping in contact, nothing,” he said, and Tommy nodded, remembering.

“Yeah, we all figured he was but then you guys got together later so we figured you were kinda on the dl for a while. Nobody thought of him like a hook-up after we found out.”

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Well. He was,” he said, then chuckled, smiling fondly. “But after that night, I kept thinking about him. I couldn’t stop. It was so _right_. We were so natural and it was right and it was effortless and after sleeping together, we spent all night just talking and hanging out and it was so nice and in the morning I let him leave with a kiss and no intention of seeing him again,” he said, and Tommy raised an eyebrow.

“How did you get together then?” he asked.

Adam smiled without shame. “I couldn’t get him out of my head so I looked him up. I knew he’d been on TV so I googled his name and I couldn’t spell for _shit_ so it took me hours to find somebody I knew who would know how to get in touch with him. It took me about thirty phone calls to get his number and then I realized ‘holy shit, you’re going through so much trouble for a good lay, what the fuck?’ and I didn’t call him,” he said, then chuckled. “But the next time I picked somebody up, I just… couldn’t get into it,” he admitted. “I kept comparing kissing him to kissing Sauli and it just wasn’t enough. We had sex and I didn’t even really enjoy it that much because I kept wishing it was him. I realized it just… wasn’t right anymore,” he said and Tommy smiled. “I called him and we talked and we talked for weeks without me letting anybody know. I even pretended I was too tired to go out so you guys wouldn’t get suspicious of me not playing up the whole ‘rock star’ thing anymore just so I could call him on the bus while you were all out. I didn’t want to go out and get drunk and pick up boys. We didn’t have any commitment but I valued talking to him on the phone late at night more than anything else. I missed him and we didn’t even really talk about the fact we were anything more than just friends. Then I went back to Finland to see him and I just knew. I knew it was him. I knew he was more important to me than most people I’d known my whole life. I just wanted to spend time with him and be with him because it was easy and natural and _right_ ,” he stressed pointedly.

“That’s kind of the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” Tommy admitted without shame. Adam smiled shyly and Tommy poked his knee. “You really love him,” he said, and Adam sighed.

“Like I didn’t know I could,” he said happily.

Tommy bit his lip. “You know… the whole thing… it’s… it does sorta sound like- um- like Sutan. For me,” he whispered.

Adam nodded. “I don’t want to scare you, but… that’s what I was thinking,” he said, catching Tommy’s hand to hold it.

Tommy let out a rough breath. “I’ve never wanted a man before. I mean hell, I spent six months getting up close and personal with you and you’re really beautiful, dude, no joke,” he said, and Adam rolled his eyes. “And nothing. NOTHING. I mean, if I had any tiny fragment of gay in me, you should’ve really done it for me,” he said, and Adam laughed.

“Wow, you really think that highly of me? I’m charmed,” he said, and Tommy smiled. “Hey,” Adam pointed out. “Look at my brother! Twenty-six years of tits and he’s totally into Brad,” he stressed. “They both claim it’s just fucking around but they’re like an old married couple! The snarky shit is their way of saying they care,” he said, and Tommy giggled madly.

“It really is, they’re like giant first graders pulling pigtails, it’s the cutest thing ever,” he stressed. “Fuck, man, Neil is into _one_ guy only, maybe I could be,” he admitted, shaking his head. “It doesn’t change that he won’t talk to me. He ran off like a shitty one-night stand and he won’t even talk to me, Adam. What if he’s not into me? What if he just was that drunk? He fucks anybody that moves,” he said sadly. “Maybe it’s backwards, maybe I’m into him but he just saw me as an opportunity-“

“What part of ‘Mrs. Tommy Ratliff’ don’t you understand,” Adam asked, glaring slightly. “Don’t go calling him a slut at a time like this. Easy or not, he slept with the boy he’s been secretly crazy about for ages. He’s probably so hurt and upset that he slipped and ruined your friendship. I can promise you, if he loves you the way I love Sauli, I would honestly rather have him in my life and not be with him as anything more than a friend than lose him and Sutan has to be afraid you’ll be upset that he fucked you while you were drunk,” he said firmly. “You both have to think and feel this out and _talk_ okay? Stop being a boy for long enough to acknowledge that you guys could be something special if you really do find yourself caring for him that way.” He held Tommy’s hand. “Think about things. Talk to him. Just… work it out. Don’t freak out again, alright?”

Tommy smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” he said, then smiled at Adam. “I’m really glad you have Sauli, dude. I didn’t… I mean it’s obvious you two are stupid over each other, but you explaining it like that… it makes it more real,” he said, and Adam blushed slightly, ducking his head. “You think he’s the real deal? Like… it?”

Adam smiled. “I’ve been in love before, and let me tell you now, it had nothing on this,” he said honestly. “If he ever stops loving me, I don’t know what I’ll do,” he said with a gentle smile. “I don’t think about it, but if I lose him, I really don’t know if I’d be the same again. I can’t know if he’s it, I can’t know what the future brings, but I’ll go with ‘I hope he’s It’ and pray for the best.”

Tommy nodded and let Adam help him up, cuddling into Adam’s chest for a few minutes to compose himself before they left to rejoin the others. After a little while Eber, Neil, and Cheeks decided to go out and Tommy figured it was about time he left as well. He was getting his jacket from the couch as Adam said goodbye to everybody in the hall when Sauli said his name.

“Are you okay? You seemed pretty upset earlier,” he said softly, with concerned eyes.

Tommy smiled and nodded. “Yeah, Adam is great at being a mother hen,” he said, and Sauli laughed.

“Don’t I know it,” he said, and Tommy paused, turning to look at him searchingly. “What?” Sauli asked curiously.

Tommy just shook his head, chuckling softly. “I mean this with the most love imaginable cause you’re great,” he said, then looked at him. “But I hope you realize how lucky you are, man. And seriously,” he added with a slight warning twinkle in his gaze. “If you ever plan on leaving your boyfriend, you better run in the night and change your name because I’d honestly probably kill you if you ever break his heart,” he said, and Sauli raised an eyebrow but didn’t speak.

Tommy got the idea Sauli knew exactly how lucky he was as well.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tommy spent a week trying to get Sutan to talk to him. He called, he texted, he emailed, he even had other people do all those things, but Sutan seemed to be avoiding him. He couldn’t figure out _why_. Sutan cared about him, he knew it. He just wanted to fix whatever he could and salvage as much of their friendship as possible. He didn’t know what else he could do to get Sutan to speak to him.

He started tweeting him, in hopes that the public nature of the gesture would prompt Sutan into replying, even if he didn’t want to. Every time he tweeted, Tommy was quick to reply.

@sutanamrull What’re you up to now?

@sutanamrull C’mon, call me dude!

@sutanamrull I miss my baby giraffe 

But no matter how many times he tried, Sutan never replied to him, not even to tell him to shut up. He was ready to give up and decided to tell Adam as much.

“I just don’t get it,” he said, using Adam’s thigh as a pillow. “Like… I just want to talk to him. I haven’t tried to say anything direct, I just want him to _speak_ to me. Even if it’s to tell me he hates me,” he said, pouting.

Adam smiled sadly, petting his head absently as they watched a movie. “I’m sorry Glitterbaby. I’ve tried to tell him you just want to talk but he’s scared, I think. He keeps hoping you’ll just pretend it never happened and I told him it wasn’t good to let it simmer like that, but he just won’t listen.”

Tommy closed his eyes, biting his lip as Adam’s petting made him sleepy even though he was tense. “I think I love him,” he said softly. Adam’s hand stopped and Tommy let out a weak breath. “He’s so… amazing. I miss him so much. It’s like… I didn’t realize how much he means to me until he stopped talking. It’s been a month, Adam. I haven’t not spoken to him in a month since you introduced us. I can’t think of anybody I feel so happy just to talk to, you know? I’m a happy guy but I’m never happier than with him. He makes everything _better_ ,” he said, and Adam smiled, petting his hair again.

“I know the feeling, TommyJoe. Just… don’t give up. He’ll come around I think,” he comforted, and Tommy sighed heavily.

“I hope so.” He blinked. “Um… Adam,” he said suddenly, sitting up to look at him. “Would you help me do something sort of grand gestury?” he asked, and Adam raised an eyebrow.

“Depends… is it corny and romantic?” he asked, and Tommy ducked his eyes, biting his lip.

“I think so. I mean, it’s definitely corny but I think it’s romantic,” he said, and Adam smiled.

“Sure thing, Glitterbaby, let me grab a pen and let’s get to planning!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Sutan missed Tommy. He kept getting desperate messages and he knew Tommy probably wanted to talk to clear the air, he knew Tommy wanted to save their friendship, but he just wanted to forget it ever happened. He wanted to pretend he hadn’t fucked his straight best friend. He deleted all the messages, the voicemails, and the emails without reading or listening to them. He couldn’t face whatever Tommy wanted to say about the situation. When he got back, he could just pretend it never happened and they could hopefully go on about their lives.

The tweets were admittedly all pretty sweet and vague for the public, but he still hated how much it hurt to know Tommy was upset about the situation still, weeks later. His heart swelled in a way that hurt more now than ever when he found Tommy had tweeted a picture of a baby giraffe ‘kissing’ it’s trainer with the caption: “I miss @sutanamrull he’s my baby giraffe!’.

He hated to admit it, but he really missed Tommy too. Even with all the embarrassment of the situation and the fact that he’d slept with a straight guy, he missed Tommy hanging out with him and talking to him. He hoped he could go home and get back to that friendship, but he feared they would never be as close as they once were.

What he never expected, however, was a knock on his hotel door in the middle of the night. He frowned, yawning as he struggled to wake up. He looked at the clock and frowned when he saw it was four in the morning. “What?” he asked weakly, blinking again, only to groan. He got up and, as it was four am in Boston in the winter, he shuffled into a pair of slippers and grabbed his jacket before going to open the door. “Hello?” he asked, blinking sleepily when there was nobody there.

He was just about to shut the door when something caught this eye. He glanced down and his heart skipped a beat. There was a stuffed giraffe on the floor with a ribbon around its neck. He picked it up and looked at the little heart sticker stuck on its side, freezing as he read it.

 _You have a beautiful smile_

He looked around, eyebrows furrowing as he saw a trail of giraffes toys and trinkets all the way down the hall and, as far as he could see, around the corner. He headed to the next one and bent to pick it up, feeling a flutter in his belly as he read the sticker on that one.

 _You can’t dance for shit_

He knew that, from most people, it would be an insult, but he knew they had to be from a friend, one he suspected in particular, and they all joked about his dancing being adorably sucky but enthusiastic. He continued down the hall, collecting the small toys as he went, having to stuff as many as he could into his jacket, well aware that by the time he got them all he would look really fat, though he had no other way of holding them.

It wasn’t until he came to the last one- _You always smell like coconut_ \- that he realized he had come full circle around the floor and was standing in front of his door, which was suspiciously cracked just a bit. He glanced at the doorhandle and gasped softly at what was there.

Hanging on the handle was another giraffe trinket, but it wasn’t another toy. It was a necklace with two giraffes, necks wrapped together, with a heart shaped note hanging on the chain. He tugged the note off of the necklace as he took it from the handle gently, biting his lip at how cute it was as he unfolded the note.

 _I know you must just be scared, but I only wanted a chance to talk so I could tell you I love you –T_

Sutan felt his stomach flip and his heart clench as he looked up, realizing that in order for the giraffes to have not been there before and be all the way to his _door handle_ since he went around the corner, whoever left them had to be inside his room, as he had left the door standing wide open. He pushed the door open and walked in carefully, just in case. However, as he stepped into the room, he discovered there had been no need to be afraid.

Tommy was sitting in the chair by the table, wringing his hands nervously. “Tommy,” he said in shock, realizing Tommy hadn’t heard him come in.

Tommy’s head shot up and he stared at Sutan, who stood still, staring back. They both exchanged gazes, shocked and frozen, until the tension was broken by Sutan’s overstuffed jacket finally giving way, releasing dozens of squashed stuffed giraffes as the zipper undid itself, allowing the toys to fly out of the jacket at random.

Sutan squeaked and dropped what few he’d had in his hands, only to blink and stare at the pile of stuffed giraffes all around his feet. Tommy cracked up, snickering into his hand at the sight of shock and confusion on Sutan’s face. “You know, if I had a camera right now,” he started, and Sutan let out a soft laugh, breaking into a smile for the first time.

“You are such a shit,” he said, then sighed, undoing the bottom of the zipper before stripping out of the jacket, tossing it onto the bed. He walked over to where Tommy was sitting and sat on the foot of the unslept in bed across from him.

Tommy ducked his eyes shyly. “Um… surprise?” he offered and Sutan laughed.

“I’d say so. Just… what the hell?” he asked, smiling in amusement.

Tommy shrugged. “It seemed… well, sweet at the time,” he admitted. “Honestly it didn’t seem dumb until I was nearly to your door, trying to set them all out before you caught up with me,” he said with a sly grin.

Sutan smiled. “Well, it was kinda sweet. I just mean, why?” he asked, and Tommy blinked, smile slipping. “It’s very sweet, Tommy, but… why did you go through so much trouble just to talk to me?”

Tommy smiled sadly. “Because you wouldn’t talk to me any other way,” he said softly. He looked at Sutan’s face, searching for something. “I haven’t gone this long without talking to you since we met, Sutan. Why do you not want to speak to me anymore?” he asked.

Sutan groaned. “It isn’t that at all, Tommy. I just thought- I thought maybe after… you know,” He made a face. “THAT,” he said with an odd expression. “I thought I’d do this tour then come home and pretend nothing ever happened.”

Tommy’s heart sunk and he looked down, biting his lip as he twisted his fingers in his scarf. “What if I don’t want that though?” he asked softly. He looked up, giving Sutan a hurt and hopeful look. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you my side of it, Sutan. You just assumed I would hate you, I couldn’t hate you,” he stressed, though his voice was pretty weak and unsure.

Sutan shook his head, looking down at the necklace he was still holding. “I couldn’t handle it, Tommy. You have no idea what it was like to wake up and have that much _dread_ -“

“No, I just knew what it was like to wake up _alone_ ,” Tommy cut in. “Sutan, you didn’t give me any chance to think about it before you made up your mind on how I would react.”

Sutan shot him a look. “You were drunk and straight and I was there,” he said flatly.

Tommy just felt his breath catch. “I didn’t know then what I’ve worked out now, though, Sutan,” he said pointedly. “I didn’t know what I had right there waiting for me until you stopped talking to me. You disappeared without a word and ignored me and avoided me and I missed you _so much_ ,” he stressed. “You- you’re so much more important than I ever imagined.”

Sutan sighed. “I’m sorry. I missed you too. You’re one of my best friends. I’m sorry we slept together and that messed so much up.”

“I’m not,” Tommy said, shocking Sutan. “I would’ve never realized on my own that you were in love with me if I hadn’t admitted that we had sex to Adam-“ Sutan paled and spluttered.

“Adam said _what _?!” he asked and Tommy nodded, smiling gently. Sutan looked horrified. “Tommy I just- you-“__

 _Tommy ducked his head, smiling bashfully. “I wouldn’t have realized how much I love you if you hadn’t started ignoring me. You forced me to realize that- that I love you, Sutan.” He looked up and shrugged. “I’m not afraid of it. I mean, why should I be? You make me happier than anybody else and even if you don’t speak to me again, I’m happy that I realized how important you are to me.”_

 _Sutan just stared, swallowing hard. “I- Tommy you can’t-“ He sighed and looked down, then bit his lip. “Why?”_

 _Tommy stood slowly and shifted to kneel in front of Sutan, grabbing his hands. “Because, at the risk of sounding like a pussy, it wasn’t just sex, Sutan. Falling asleep next to you felt more right than anything ever has. Kissing you and touching you and being with _you_ fit. It was amazing and I realized after you left that I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve ever hung out that weren’t absolutely perfect because you get me like nobody else ever has.”_

Sutan sighed. “I’ve been in love with you for a while,” he admitted. “Cheeks and Adam used to call you my Straight Boy,” he said, smiling shyly.

Tommy grinned. “Not exactly sure how straight I am, baby,” he said, taking a chance to lean in and steal a kiss, praying Sutan didn’t shove him away.

He was rewarded by his efforts as Sutan let out a weak sound and squeezed Tommy’s hands, returning the kiss as best he could. “I’m so sorry I hurt you,” Sutan snuck out between kisses.

Tommy shook his head, standing without breaking the kisses. “Don’t be, I needed a kick in the ass,” he said, then carefully crawled into Sutan’s lap, moaning when Sutan laid back, pulling him down on top of him.

“I love you, Tommy,” he muttered, arching his back as Tommy nipped this jaw.

Tommy groaned, catching his lips in a kiss once more. “Love you more, baby, so sorry-“

“Shut up and kiss me.”

Tommy did.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“TommyJoe, if you don’t stop twitching, I’m going to yank out your hair,” Adam snapped, grabbing a handful of the hair he was petting.

Tommy grinned. “Dude, you really don’t want to yank my hair,” he said with wiggly eyebrows and Sauli laughed from his spot under Tommy’s legs, as he was lying across their laps.

“Wow, he pulled your hair every night for a whole tour,” Sauli said, poking his thigh with a suspicious look.

Tommy smirked. “Hell I wasn’t gonna sit him down and have the ‘by the way I really like that in a dirty way’ conversation, was I? Talk about awkward,” he said, and Adam rolled his eyes.

“You are a shit, TommyJoe,” he said, shoving at his head playfully.

Tommy grinned. “Sauli likes me better than you anyhow,” he said poking out his tongue as he sat up and clung to Sauli, sitting in the small man’s lap. “See, I stole your dude,” he said with a mock smug look, pressing a kiss to Sauli’s cheek.

Adam raised an eyebrow, but was cut off from replying by the door opening. Tommy perked up, sitting up straighter anxiously. Adam smiled as he heard bickering straight away. “Damn it, Bradley! I did not nearly hit that guy-“

“You can’t drive for shit, Neil, I told you to let me drive-“

“Get your own damn car then!” Neil cried in exasperation. “Pick your own damn friends up from the airport!” Tommy broke into a bright smile then jumped up, skipping out to the hall, beaming when he spotted Sutan watching Neil and Cheeks in amusement.

After their confession in Boston, Sutan still had two weeks of traveling to do so Tommy agreed the next morning that they could spend the time apart talking everything out and making sure they wanted to be together. In the end, they both agreed that they were happier together, and since then, Tommy had been counting the days for Sutan to come home.

Sutan caught Tommy’s eye and smiled, prompting Tommy to run over excitedly. “BABY GIRAFFE!” he shouted then jumped on Sutan, knocking him down. “AHA!” he said, grinning when he landed on top of Sutan, who grunted.

“Dude, no, no way, I’m too old to be tackled by an excited puppy- UMPH!” he squeaked as Tommy kissed him from his spot straddling his waist.

“Ew,” Neil said, and Cheeks laughed.

“It’s _sweet_ you dickface. You know, that thing you never do for me?” he said, raising an eyebrow as he shoved past Neil and headed into the living room. “Your brother can’t drive,” he told Adam, who nodded.

“Yep, about right,” he confirmed.

“What do you mean I’m never sweet to you?” Neil demanded, following him in. “I don’t kick you out when you show up at ass o’clock, if that isn’t sweet I don’t know what is,” he said, and Cheeks glared, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch from him.

“You are such a fucking dude sometimes, Neil. What else, think it’s being ‘sweet’ to not send me walking after sex too?” he asked, voice full of sarcasm.

Neil rolled his eyes. “You know it’s not like that, Bradley, for fucks sakes, I spend ninety percent of my free time with you!”

Tommy giggled from the doorway as he and Sutan walked in holding hands, both of them looking a bit ruffled. “Yeah Cheeks, pretty sure from Neil that’s the closest to ‘I love you’ you’ll ever get,” he teased and Neil glowered.

“Why do you all think I’m some insensitive jerk? I may not be as mushy and girly as you fuckers but it doesn’t mean I have no heart,” he said, then looked at Cheeks, who was giving him wide puppy eyes. “Oh no, not that look-“

“You don’t give two shits about me do you?” he asked and Neil sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “That’s fine,” Cheeks said as he stood up to storm out. “You’re just a fuck to me too then, whatever,” he said and Neil glowered before following him out into the hall. “Neil, just let it- UMMMM!”

They all heard a squeak, then shared horrified looks when there was a thud, some moans, and a lot of strange suction sounds. Tommy giggled. “You guys okay out there?” he shouted.

“GREAT! FINE! Adam, don’t come upstairs for about fifteen minutes,” Cheeks shouted.

Neil made a sound of offense. “Forty minutes you mean?” he said expectantly and Cheeks hummed.

“Okay, FORTY!”

Adam’s eyes just widened in horror. “NO!” he cried, running out after them.

Sutan just smirked at Tommy. “Hmmm, they have good ideas,” he said, leaning down so Tommy could give in him small kiss. “Let’s leave them to defiling and Adam and Sauli to mourn the defiling of their guest room, and we can go defile your place,” he said, and Tommy’s eyes darkened.

“Oh yeah baby,” he groaned, kissing Sutan sloppily before standing. “C’mon,” he said, and Sutan grinned taking his hand to stand up. They waved goodbye to Sauli, who just sat on the couch, looking as amused as ever at the people he’d chosen to associate with.


End file.
